A round up of everything that happened at Cardiff Uni in 2016
What a year
There was a rudey-nudey Snapchat account and the uni were well embarrassed
Snapchat account ‘cardiff-uni’ cropped up in January meeting your every sexual and entertainment need. With a snapchat story usually reaching over 100 seconds, viewers looked on at boobs, bums, dicks, drunken antics, chanting, shit jokes and banter.
Mortified, the university dispelled any claims that they had any connection to it after the national press, such as The Mirror, got hold of the story. Unfortunately the account was deleted, and we all had to move on with our lives.
The SU said they were going to bring in breathalysers
Haha, what happened to this rule, eh? The SU said that YOLO revelers could only enter if they’d had under four pints, otherwise you’d be thrown out back onto the SU steps. Shock horror rattled through the sports teams, but luckily it seems like no one gave a shit, not even the SU themselves, about this boring rule.
The 2016 fittest finalists were crowned
The prestigious annual award for fittest finalist went to Paul West and Pamela Matthews. Pamela won the award by a landslide with over 40 per cent of the vote, and 1,300 of you voted Paul as the fittest of the third years.
Seven boys on Rhymney Terrace nearly got fined £5000 for a house party
Probably one of the most classic stories to come out of Cathays in 2016, seven lads were threatened with a five grand fine from Cardiff Council due to receiving 37 noise complaints in one night. The Rhymney Terrace property was even raided by the police. Did somebody order some legends?
Cardiff was named the top university for best social life
I mean, obviously.
We were officially the number one retailer for VK sales
As if we didn’t need confirmation already, but Cardiff officially became the number one retailer for VK sales. Blue, orange, green, red, whatever flavour you like, we are the primary place for guzzling the stuff, and by god are we proud.
This year’s Jailbreak team made it to Turkey and back
Cardiff’s Jailbreak elite managed to go from Cardiff to Istanbul and back in 52 hours. The team managed to scrape £300 from the public on one bus journey to London Victoria, enabling them to board a flight from Gatwick in the morning.
Uber finally came to Cardiff
After a year of shit taxi companies refusing short fares and being generally useless in light of three sexual assaults during Freshers’ Week the previous year, our prayers were finally answered and Uber arrived in the city. Although a bit shaky at the start with not many taxis on board, Uber is now fully functioning, and the best taxi service in Cardiff.
Mysterious Pineapples erupted overnight on the streets of Cathays
Appearances of both actual pineapples and spray-painted stencils were found everywhere around Cathays and student accommodations like Taly suddenly. At the time it was unclear why this happened or who put any of the pineapples there, but it was later revealed as a clue and branding strategy as to what would replace Flux.
We’re still sad about it, but on this devastating month, Flux came to an end. Let’s just not bring it up again, okay?
Taly Freshers rode a dinghy to Cardiff Bay
We found the heroes we didn’t know we needed as they rode a dinghy to Cardiff Bay. Why? To avoid revision. The three hour trip down the Taf led the freshers into problems with harbour control, shallow rocks and, perhaps most of all, procrastination. But their mission to get a Nando’s down the Bay, all the while drinking Strongbow, definitely worked. They even documented it all on video.
A fresher was hospitalised after swimming in a flood puddle
You heard that right – Bryn Knight took advantage of the heavy rains of May and decided to go swimming in one of the deep puddles outside Senghenydd halls. He ended up being hospitalised and missed an exam because of it. Luckily he got extenuating circumstances.
BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH WAS SEEN FILMING FOR SHERLOCK IN THE SU
WE WALK THE SAME STEPS THAT HE HAS WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY
A fresher saved six teenagers from the River Taf
After hearing cries for help while sitting in the park after one of his exams, rugby lad Tim Baker managed to save six teenagers who were trapped on a boulder in the river. He’d spent two years training as a lifeguard, but commented he’d never had to save anyone before.
The freshers killed it this year.
The ASSL became permanently open 24/7
Joe Blight was named as Cardiff’s Biggest Name on Campus
The geography 3rd year won several heats and a final and snagged himself the (metaphorical) trophy for BNOC.
Tiger was officially ranked as the eighth worst club in the UK by Tab readers
Juice was born
After it was revealed that Flux was ending, the confusion of the mysterious pineapples were finally put to rest: Juice was the new Saturday night of SU nightlife. It opened its doors on the 24th September and we haven’t looked back since.
Library fines were scrapped
Hallelujah – a new system meant that you only got fined if you didn’t return a requested book.
Someone won a car at Bingo Lingo
Yes, really. Katherine Reid won the final house and got a Volkswagen Beetle, and she hasn’t even passed her test.
Family Fish won Cathays’ Best Takeaway
I mean is anyone surprised? Abdul is a legend.
Welsh Tuition Fee Grants were scrapped
Whether for the good or for the bad, there was a lot of debate, and it will change the fate of future Welsh uni-goers forever.
Cardiff Men’s Rugby Club were banned from the SU
Females weeped when they discovered the rugby lads were banned from the SU for an unknown stunt that raised a lot of complaints. Luckily it was only for the rest of the semester, and since then they have been involved in charity acts to redeem themselves and get their acts together.
A Co-op opened in the SU
Someone answered our prayers!
A Cardiff 3rd year was revealed as an Ex on the Beach contestant
Journalism student Maisie Gillespie promised sex, fights, tears, and love as she teased us about her appearance on the upcoming series of Ex on the Beach, which premiers on 17th January 2017.
Harri Smallman and Holly Morris were revealed as Cardiff’s most eligible bachelor and bachelorette
They’re deffo not going on a date, though.
And everyone said 2016 was an awful year. Clearly not for Cardiff.