A roundup of the BIGGEST things that happened in Edi this year

2015/16 has been a biggie


A lot can happen in a year

It would be easy to argue that not much has changed in Edinburgh since September; Bristo square is still a mess, we still have to queue for Prow at 9pm and we’re still not quite sure what EUSA actually does. In reality, a lot has happened. From massacre threats to BBC Three dramas, and from safe space to the Northern Lights, we’ve seen it all. Here are some of the best and funniest stories together for you to peruse.

From us, the most hated thing in Edinburgh, this is our gift to you.

A second year called the US Consulate after being kicked out of Why Not

The year kicked off with a bang for second year Devin who called the American consulate eight times after she was kicked out of Why Not for being too drunk. Fortunately it was out of hours and so the calls went unanswered, but still so jokes nevertheless.

The price of VKs and Snakebites went up

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Maybe the worst thing EUSA did this year was raise the price of VKs and snakebites by up to TWENTY FIVE PER CENT. When students returned to Edi in September prices for VKs had been hiked from £2 to £2.50, with snakebites increasing in price from £2 to £2.30. Outrageous. What are we paying £9,000 a year for?

A 4channer threatened an Edi copycat shooting after Oregon massacre

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Some absolute n00b on 4chan had everyone stressing in October after threatening an Edinburgh Uni massacre in the style of the one which took place in Oregon a few weeks earlier. One poster even encouraged the individual to attack Central, and “spare Kings”, saying: “All the normies are in Central.” Some students took the advice to avoid Uni the next day but, obviously, nothing came to fruition.

The BNOC of the Year bought an illegal swegway

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2014/15’s BNOC of the Year, Bart Myners, was left heartbroken in October after ordering a £350 swegway the day before the news broke that they were illegal to use in public. Furious, he started a petition on change.org, but sadly a few weeks later it was broken by multiple people trying to ride it at the same time. Que Sera, Sera, Bart.

Some arseholes blacked up for the Halloween Big Cheese

After EUSA’s 2014 ‘Is Your Halloween Costume Offensive?’ campaign, they were left ‘disappointed’ when a number of students decided to black up for the Big Cheese, including one who used shoe polish to paint his face. Everyone thought they were arseholes, and EUSA launched an investigation into how they managed to get past the Prow staff.

New Town girls were evicted after a party caused floors to collapse

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In December, second year Art History students Isabella, Claudia, Sophie, Ceci and Milly, threw a Christmas party which ended with spectacular results. The attendance of 130 guests led to the floor of the flat caving in, the police being called, the council coming to visit, and their ultimate eviction. They still managed to dance the night away in nearby Garibaldi’s afterwards though.

Gender neutral toilets came to Edinburgh Uni

EUSA announced the introduction of gender neutral toilets to the uni in a move that divided students. For all the debate, most people still aren’t sure where any of these toilets are or if they even exist.

We got a BBC Three drama about us

In February we found out that the creator of E4’s ‘Skins’, Jamie Brittain, is making a six part drama set in Edinburgh Uni. ‘Clique’ will follow two freshers and their developing friendships with a lecturer who is part of an elite society of alpha girls. It seems unlikely that Hive will feature prominently in the opening series.

Rape advocate Roosh V tried to visit… and failed

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Narcissist, leader of a world-wide ‘anti-feminist network’, and absolute virgin Roosh V tried to organize an event for heterosexual men only in the Grassmarket early in the year. Despite the promise that he would “exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public” and his urge to supporters to take photos of any females who attempted to accost them, the University Feminist Society were quick to organize a protest event. An online petition calling for him to be banned from Scotland amassed almost 60,000 signatures and eventually poor Roosh had to cancel his event.

Agrics had a working class social

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People were furious when some classy folk from Scotland’s Rural College’s Edinburgh campus went on a ‘neds’ and ‘nerds’ themed social in Newington in February. In an attempt to look like ‘non-educated people’ (quite obviously no need to dress up), many were clad in tracksuits, gold hoops, fake chains and caps while they hit up the Dog House, the Victoria Bar and Doctors. Cringe.

The Northern Lights came to visit

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Credit: Sophie Waters

During a brief period of clear skies, an even rarer natural phenomenon occurred. The Northern Lights were visible throughout the city, providing a hauntingly beautiful backdrop to our already great city.

We went to Prow with a Go Pro

In March, video aficionado and Edi second year Phoebe Campbell-Harris took us to Potterow with a Go Pro and made it look more like Berghain than Big Cheese.

Alec became EUSA Pres

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After a mental, drama-filled, edge-of-your-seat presidential race, underdog Alec Edgecliffe-Johnson became the new president of EUSA. He promised to shorten waiting times for student counselling, go abroad experiences for ‘all students who want one’, and to improve transport to all university campuses, so automatically became a favourite in Kings. We chatted to him and found out he’s really into Bongos.

As well as this, Jessica Husbands became VPSA, Patrick Garratt VPAA and Jenny Kelly was voted Vice President for Services.

Library Cat went… and still is missing

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Horror hit campus this year when the Uni’s official Press Office made a public appeal asking for information on the whereabouts of everyone’s favourite feline. Library cat went missing on March 13th and despite numerous unconfirmed sightings and reports, has yet to be found.

#JesuisJordan

EUSA Sabb was almost thrown out of a student council debate for shaking her head

A story that hit the national media, used to highlight the extent of Safe Space policies. Imogen Wilson, a EUSA Vice President for Academic Affairs, was nearly kicked out of a student council debate on whether EUSA should back the BDS Israel movement for merely raising her hand and shaking her head. Classic EUSA.

An anti-Semitic poster was found at Kings

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In April, EUSA Vice President for Academic Affairs, Imogen Wilson, found an anti-Semitic poster in Kings Buildings which suggested that the Holocaust was ‘sheer fraud’ and ‘the greatest swindle of all time’. It came on the same day that Malia Bouattia was elected NUS President despite allegations of her anti-Semitism.

The Mormons around Central were told to chill out

After we wrote about how they borderline harass and stalk students near the library, the University Head of Security told the Mormons to limit their activities around the Central area and to take a hint better when people don’t reply to their texts and calls.

The University told students to spend thousands on graduation clothes

There was uproar this semester when the university sent out a newsletter to the graduating class which was labelled as ‘sexist’ and ‘classist’ by students. Within it they advertised Harvey Nichols, Proenza Schouler clutches and Gianvito Rossi heels, suggested that girls should spend thousands on clothes for graduation day and reminded students that ‘image is everything!’

Engineering third years were given an exam paper that was unanswerable

During exams, a letter, signed by 54 Engineering students was sent to course organizers complaining about their Manufacturing Technology exam paper which was rife with blatant typos and errors. The letter described how the examination broke down into chaos when students realised that all three questions were in some way unanswerable.

It’s been a great one, bring on next year.