WEEK EIGHT NEWS ROUNDUP: Classy Classics, 50 Cent, and Christmas Adverts

Classy Classics

An email was sent out to members of the classics faculty warning against “Misuse of Faculty Network Facilities”, warning that if such misuse occurred sanctions might be put in place against anyone identified as doing so. Were they watching porn? The Tab isn’t one to fan the flames of rumour, but probably.

More like Classics FAPulty, am I right?

Election Mayhem

JCRs across Cambridge may have made it through election season in more or less one piece, but a new scandal is abrewing, with reports that the Pembroke Graduate Parlour Committee has had to turn to paper voting as a result of “a mess up that is not the fault of the GPC.”

[Insert old people can’t use computers joke here]

Because one wouldn’t want to go home for the holidays without having first caught a glimpse of a security detail protecting the monarchy, our Duke and Duchess popped round for a visit to celebrate the 600th anniversary of the opening of the UL. Because the UL is depressing and they would have been shushed by draconian librarians, this celebration took place in the Fitzwilliam Museum. Much culture.

Prince Charles and Camilla were also in attendance,  visiting King’s to listen to the choir. King’s may be the home of anarchists republicans, but it’s not where Charles’ bodyguard famously did better than him in his exams.

Freudian Slip, Times?

Happy Holidays from CUSU

Our favourite student union went to social media to wish us all a “Happy Bridgemass.” The fact that they misspelt Bridgemas is of course, in no way a sign to how out of touch with the undergraduate body CUSU may or may not be.

Homerton Life Skills

An email sent out to Homerton students offered the chance to learn some (presumably much needed) life skills, including a class on Gyp Cooking. The Queens’ undergraduate body also recieved the invitation, presumably because both Queens‘ and Homerton are incapable of keeping their bodily fluids to themselves.

The “John Lewis” of libraries

The English Faculty Library has gotten into the Christmas spirit, releasing their own Christmas advert to promote vacation borrowing. You can watch the bemusing array of sad books waiting to be checked out here.

The Assventures of Best Bums

Best Bums didn’t stop at making a scene in Cambridge- the images of exposed Cantabs made it all the way to 50 Cent, 9Gag, and the Daily Mail. We won’t dwell on the fact that most of these only used images of the girls in their coverage.

Sexist Signage

Kuda has come under fire after putting up a sign in the women’s toilets urging women to lose weight. Ostensibly put there to fight obesity, the sign was been dubbed insensitive at best and misogynistic at worst.