We spent seven nights doing the seven deadly sins in Sinners
For gluttony we gorged on chocolate cake in the cage
It’s a cheeky little trebles bar with cheap drinks and low lighting. For many students and middle aged Geordies Sinners is the highlight of a night out in Newcastle. With its frisky cage, tempting (if sticky) poles and near lethal staircases this has to be one of the most infamous bars in the North East. All life is here.
Inspired by the name of this classy dive we assigned a challenge to each of the “seven deadly sins” and completed them in Sinners over seven consecutive days.
The seven deadly sins are a biblical representation of the spectrum of humanity’s many failings and ineptitudes. We set out on Valentine’s day for our seven day challenge. They are Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride.
Gluttony, day one
Challenge: Devour a chocolate cake in the Sinners cage Bogtrotter style
Gluttony marked the start of our seven day challenge.
Day one also happened to be Valentine’s Day. Rest assured our v-day was almost certainly messier than yours. We spent a romantic evening in the notorious Sinners cage with chocolate cake smeared into our hair, ears and face and we loved it.
Apologies in advance for the vulgar video. We were…a little drunk, and got a little overenthusiastic. We had to do Bruce Bogtrotter justice.
The combination of Tesco’s finest chocolate cake and Sinners’ dubious vodka had predictable and disastrous consequences.
Greed, day two
Challenge: Get as many free drinks as possible
We ended up spending £2 each on night two. £2! It went on the taxi back home. We should do this challenge every night. Hurrah for the charitable people of Newcastle.
Kitty managed to get four free drinks through pure, undiluted allure and charm.
But Elliot won the challenge, procuring a whopping seven trebles for free. He was offered an eighth but was starting to turn an unusual shade of purple.
Lust, day three
Challenge: Get with someone as fast as you can
How sleazy. Thank goodness we went out on a Carnage night which at least brought the average age down marginally. The clock would start as soon as we stepped foot on the dance floor.
We’re afraid you’ll have to satisfy your pervy curiosity elsewhere on the description front. We sense that the development of both of our sore throats 24 hours later was not completely unrelated. Stay safe kids.
After a few false starts Kitty’s best time was a respectable one minute and 35 seconds. Elliot took… slightly longer.
Wrath, day four
Challenge: Get in a fight
Day 4 blues struck. We were halfway through the challenge and feeling Sinners weary. Doubts started to form in our minds, would we be able to complete this most noble of missions?
Neither of us are aggressive people. We’re lovers, not fighters.
We attempted to stage a few photos with Elliot being head-locked by bouncers, but as luck would have it he found himself in a genuine altercation. Kitty made it clear that ladies don’t brawl.
After doing our stint in Sinners we moved to Tiger Tiger next door. Elliot passed Izzie, first-year Urban Planning, a friend who was tachin’ on with a young gentleman. Spotting Elliot out of the corner of her eye and being the excitable character she is bounced over and hugged him. This aggravated her companion more than a little. And you won’t like him when he’s angry.
The photos show the confrontation. It was going to get messy, so Elliot ran away like the coward he is.
Envy, day five
Challenge: Acquire as many fancy dress accessories as possible on Sports Wednesday
What a magnificent challenge. Sports Wednesday is our jam.
It was simple: beg, borrow or steal as many fancy dress accessories as possible. Kitty lost all her items (including toy gun, hand cuffs, flat cap and tobacco pipe), but Elliot managed to get eight. He was rightfully pleased with his achievement.
If, by chance, we obtained your item and you desperately want to reclaim it then I guess you can email our editor [email protected]. To the bald gentleman whose flat cap we borrowed, apologies if we affected your prospects.
Sloth, day six
Challenge: Stay in the seating area ALL night
For the ladies and gentlemen who are unfamiliar with Sinners, it is not a table service establishment. Therefore, our immediate problem was how we would acquire drinks.
We resolved to handpick members of the crowd that looked trustworthy and honourable. Looking back, it was perhaps naive of us to hand over £5 to an unknown chap named Dev and assume that this upstanding citizen of the toon would buy our trebs without pissing off with our dollar.
We have never longed for the heady escapism of the sinners d-floor with quite so much fervour.
Pride, day seven
Challenge: Find an establishment worthy of us in Newcastle
We had done six consecutive nights in Sinners. SIX. So for the final challenge we decided to live a heinous lie for the evening: ‘We’re too good for Sinners.’ We couldn’t afford The Botanist so went to that other refined, if slightly less expensive drinking establishment: Wetherspoons.
We were in paradise. We ditched our Tab tees in favour of something a little more smart.
Elliot had his favourite; a Mango Majito at the price of £3.99. A drink elegant on the palate with Caribbean white rum and Bols mango liqueur. Kitty, meanwhile, had her standard gin and tonic served with a zesty lime. Just what we needed after six days at Sinners.
We settled into the seating, glad to be surrounded by our friends in a quiet environment where not much was going on. We were proud to be in this classy establishment, sharing our experience on snapchat. Maybe we should do the spoons challenge. We love spoons. We could get used to this.
What has come over us?! What’s in this Mango Mojito?! Where is our loyalty? Sinners nurtured us. Sinners runs through our veins. WE LOVE SINNERS AND ALWAYS WILL. Nobody’s too good for Sinners. Fuck it.
We went back to Sinners for the seventh night in a row. Sinners 4 lyf #sinners4winners.