‘Two girls got the clap’: These were the worst confessions from the Newcastle Uni ski trip

What can go wrong in Les Deux Alpes?

Ah the ski trip, a yearly reminder of FOMO whilst you’re sat at home with £5 left of your overdraft practically begging Student Finance to drop (still waiting). Instagram feeds are filled with ski slopes and ginormous pints, with a mix of house music and aesthetically pleasing sunsets.

Despite all the fun, trips are always the place for people to go a little bit wild to let their hair down before we return to the university side of uni. Thankfully at The Newcastle Tab, we heard all about it.

Here’s a list of all the scandalous activities that happened on the latest ski trip…

‘I heard about a girl and a ski rep in the gondola’

From reading this I don’t think the clapping noises were their hands…

At least you had a nice view am I right x

‘I kissed Ross Clough, and I liked it’

Sadly this is nothing but a rumour, Ross would never x

King of the DJ decks and self-respect.

‘My friend bought seven baguettes after aprés but dropped them when she got hit by a car’

Yes, I did Google “What is aprés?” as I am not in touch with the rah vocabulary.

However, I’m curious as to why seven baguettes were needed – must’ve really been craving carbs after all those mega pints.

Also, are they okay? I think being hit by a car is bad enough but with seven baguettes in the equation, this is just odd.

‘People were maced outside the club! The French hated us’

God, being pissed and maced at the same time would be my worst nightmare. Literal beer goggles plus maximum pain.

Je suis désolé French people – yes I used Google Translate for that.

‘Ex character assassinated me then said it was all a lie”

A lovely slice of humble pie and gaslighting. I respect how this individual was referred to as a character rather than an ex or situationship, they never deserved to be on that level x

‘I met my friends’ girlfriend. An honour’

This just isn’t gossip x

Can’t tell if you’re in love with the friend or the girlfriend – or both.

‘A threesome took place and he gave both girls the clap’

It’s all the drama, Mick, I love it x

A threesome in general – both socially and sexually in this case.

If any lessons are taken from this ski trip, wrap up. In both ways.

‘A girl cheated on her boyfriend and shamelessly spoke about him the next day’

Sounds like she has the grace and decorum of a reversing dump truck without any tyres on. Someone save this poor man.

This girl really wanted a hot girl ski trip it seems…

Alexa, play Karma by Jojo Siwa.

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