Gotcha! These are all the silly ways we fooled you on April Fool’s Day 2024

Welcome to April Fool’s Day 2024! This year has been another good ol’ day of laughs, and The Tab has fooled you big time across the board.

The local Tab sites had jokes about iconic celebs coming to campus, uniforms being implemented, new STI strains being uncovered and leaked emails across the country spilled gossip about Russell Group universities like you wouldn’t believe. The National Tab pages all spread various lies about TikTok bans, and big TV names and villains being ready to step up as hosts of our favourite shows.

Here is a full roundup of every silly little headline across The Tab that fooled you on April Fool’s Day 2024. Sorry!

The Tab National

We got you goooood over at The Tab’s national site. It was said TikTok will be banned within a mile radius of every university campus in the UK. Sorry, but I couldn’t survive.

This apparently came after a group of disgruntled Vice-Chancellors from 13 Russell Group universities banded together and sent a letter to TikTok about the impact the app is having on student productivity.

The Holy Church of Netflix

via Netflix

In an iconic turn of events, The Tab’s Holy Church of Netflix lied and said Jimmy and Chelsea from season six were going to be the new Love Is Blind hosts.

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“The viewers have been tired of Nick and Vanessa Lachey for a long time,” a source from Netflix told The Tab. “Netflix and Love Is Blind creators were hoping to bag Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly to bring back some life and a level of shock factor to the show, but have decided to settle on the next best thing instead. The format of the show has become tired in the last few seasons, Jimmy and Chelsea will do it some good.”

The Holy Church of Love Island

April Fool’s Day 2024 was a big day to be Love Island’s loyal babes Georgia Steel, as she woke up to the news she would be hosting the entire show from now on!

As it was announced she was “replacing Maya Jama”, Georgia told The Tab: “I’m just absolutely buzzing, babes. I’ve not had much luck on the Island with Josh and Tobes but I can’t wait to make some Islanders dreams come true. As long as they’re keeping it loyal, it’s going to be the opportunity of a lifetime. Blessed.”

The Holy Church of MAFS

Picture the scene: You have a deep hole in your heart where MAFS UK once lived, and the only drama you are clinging onto since the show is that JJ is now dating UK Hun, Katie Price. Well our Holy Church of MAFS page was listening, and said the new season of the show was going to be starting next week, with JJ and Katie Price as experts.

No matter how iconic this might have been, it isn’t happening, and the gorg couple are not “absolutely thrilled” to be joining the team of experts. A shame!

Birmingham

via The Birmingham Tab

There was a classic joke told at The Birmingham Tab, that all students were going to have to start wearing a uniform. The VC had apparently said from the beginning of the 2024/25 academic year, everyone was going to have to wear a pretty realistic looking blazer. (You can stop panicking now).

Durham

Durham will honestly never live down the idea that the only people who go there are Oxford and Cambridge rejects. The Durham Tab said the uni announced plans to provide specialist support for first year students who were rejected from Oxbridge Universities. The poor babies!

Edinburgh

It’s a bad day to wake up today as an Edi student. It was reported there has been a new strain of chlamydia found amongst Edinburgh University students, that seems to be primarily coming from those at Pollock Halls. It was all a lie!

Nottingham

via The Nottingham Tab

This morning might have been hellish for some Notts students, if they believed The Nottingham Tab when it said all students were going to be breathalysed when they entered lectures.

According to an anonymous uni insider, lecturers are “sick of no one turning up to their 9am classes” or turning up “hungover and groggy unable to concentrate.” Dw, 2024 won’t be the year you stop turning up to uni still a little bit drunk, it was just an April Fool’s Day prank.

Exeter

Exeter girlies you can breath a sigh of relief because claims your precious Adidas Sambas were going to be banned were just another awful April Fool’s Day 2024 prank.

You know how when your Sambas are on they look great, but those damn laces always come undone? The Exeter Tab said this safety hazard was the reason The University of Exeter banned the trainers from the Students’ Union.

Leeds

via The Leeds Tab

The Leeds Tab said that Made in Chelsea star Jamie Laing, who studied theatre and performance at Leeds Uni for his undergraduate degree, was going to be returning to teach a broadcast journalism course there. It was claimed he was approached by the university shortly after being chosen as Jordan North’s replacement for BBC Radio 1’s Going Home show.

“I want to bring the party to the course,” he was quoted to have said. “My inner fresher lives on.”

Manchester

The Manchester Tab said what we’re all thinking, and posed a ban on all students from London, for the simple reason that their “vibes are off”. The reason for this ban was further explained to be because vibes of students who originate from London “conflict with the city’s interests”.

Newcastle

via The Newcastle Tab

What would be your dream as a northern uni student? The Newcastle Tab said Greggs was to sponsor Newcastle graduations and students get a sausage roll with their certificate. It’s that, isn’t it?

As a celebration of student hard work, the university had a “partnership with Greggs” to show appreciation while celebrating the city’s culture with a staple dish. Cute!

St Andrews

Stop the press! This morning The St Andrews Tab said the uni plans to implement a ban on all incoming applications from English students. They’ve had enough!

The reason for this ban was said to “uphold the values” of the institution, with staff members claiming that the uptake in English students has become a detriment for what the university stands for.

Cardiff

via The Tab Cardiff

It’s been a big year to be a rugby boy at Cardiff. So The Cardiff Tab announced Cardiff University Rugby Team was going to be changing its social uniform to move away from the negative associations with the infamous blue shirt and chino combination.

It even claimed a member of the rugby club told The Cardiff Tab there are too many negative associations with the classic chinos and shirt combo after they were banned from the SU back in October last year.

King’s College London

Over at KCL it was the return of queen Taylor, as it was apparently revealed to The King’s Tab that Miss Swift herself was returning to KCLSU’s The Vault for a one-off performance. It claimed as the last part of the European leg of her Eras Tour, Taylor is set to visit The Vault on 22nd August, two days after her final performance at Wembley Stadium. Sure!

London

Staying in London, UCL said the uni is changing its name to “The London University” in order to differentiate itself from King’s College London. Apparently UCL is too similar to KCL, and the uni wants out!

Lancaster

I’m so sorry Lancs, but local icon Isaac from Sultan’s will not be running to be an MP in the area, as The Lancaster Tab reported. However, if he ever did want to, I do think his slogan should be “Isaac looks after his friends” as was suggested this morning.

Oxford

via Prime

The Oxford Tab said Jacob Elordi was set to become the most well known uni student on campus in October as he’s “joining Oxford University to study English literature.”

Following in the footsteps of his Saltburn character Felix, Jacob reportedly fell in love with the campus while filming Emerald Fennel’s feature film alongside Barry Keoghan and “immediately set about applying to return as an enrolled student.”

Warwick

All Warwick students woke to a shock this morning when The Warwick Tab claimed the uni was being ditched from the Russell Group, and replaced by… Coventry!!! Can you believe it?!

It was said this came following a three-year-long discussion between the members of the Russell Group who ruled that Coventry University showed more potential as a “productive member than the University of Warwick.” Shock horror!

Glasgow

via The Glasgow Tab

The biggest event of the year so far as been the great Glasgow Wonka Experience disaster, so in honour of this The Glasgow Tab said all student graduations were going to be Wonka themed. What could possibly go wrong!

To complete the look, the uni VC was going to be coming dressed as The Unknown, and students would even be handed their certificates alongside a singular jelly bean. Gorg!

Bristol

Urban Tandoor isn’t just a Bristol thing, it’s an everywhere thing. So when The Bristol Tab said the TikTok sensation curry house was getting its own reality TV show, Keeping Up With the Kormas, a lot of people were buzzing. But sorry, ITV hasn’t actually green-lit this, but if anyone from the research team is reading this, you should.

Cambridge

The Cambridge Tab said a leaked email revealed Cambridge University’s plans to ban official use of the term “Oxbridge” due to its elitist connotations.

It was said the ban will be policed by a scanning of “all emails sent from university addresses” for the prohibited word. The email also revealed anyone found using the word “Oxbridge” after the implementation date will be required “to undergo compulsory inclusivity training.”

Bournemouth

via The Bournemouth Tab

In the last few years, there’s been a lot of building work over at the BU campus. So imagine the shock if a building that has cost millions and was years in the making was being knocked down after only a couple of years?!

The Bournemouth Tab said according to a leaked email, The Poole Gateway Building on Talbot Campus is set to be knocked down as it has been deemed “inferior” to the Fusion Building. Yikes!

Queen’s Belfast

The Belfast Tab said Queen’s University Belfast is to implement an 11pm curfew on all Holylands student house parties. It said a leaked email sent to all staff revealed at 11pm students hosting and attending house parties will be ordered to vacate the area, and keep noise to minimum after a “significant increase in the number of complaints” over the past few months.

Sussex

via The Sussex Tab

Sussex was also looking at implementing a uniform, this time telling students they had to wear office clothing in the library all the time, to “prepare students for employment”. I would simply… drop out.

York

It’s been a real tough year to be a York student. The York Tab said after a sad, sad year The University of York’s Students’ Union (YUSU) announced plans to rename its campus venue, The Lounge, as “Long Boi’s Lounge” in honour of the anniversary of his longness’ passing. RIP Long Boi you will never be forgotten!

Soton

This year, we have become a nation obsessed with Stanley cups. So The Soton Tab claimed the University of Southampton has banned Stanley Cups in lecture halls due to the fact that they leak. Keep them at home!

Brookes

via The Brookes Tab

Oxford Brookes was said to be introducing “vape rooms” in all campus buildings to combat students vaping in lectures. Not a want, a need.

Lincoln

Lincoln has a pretty iconic student club night called Quack, which as part of April Fool’s Day 2024, The Lincoln Tab said was going to be renamed “Moo”. Get it?

There are loads of rubber ducks at the event, of course, but because of a “shortage” it was claimed the club was renaming the night and giving out plush cows instead. Tbh, I would love.

Sheffield

We all know the beef between the local uni of and poly is a tale as old as time. Well The Sheffield Tab claimed the city was putting all that behind it, and merging Sheffield with Hallam. The two universities will now become one known as “Sheffield Universities”.

A leaked document obtained by The Tab Sheffield was said to have revealed plans for University of Sheffield to “join forces” with Sheffield Hallam University from September 2024 in a bid to unite the institutions and address financial and resource issues with accommodation in the city.

Coventry

Business courses are a lil bit lame (sorry), so The Coventry Tab said the uni was going to be using AI to teach the course, basically because no humans could be arsed to. Fair enough.

UEA

via The Norwich Tab

A leaked email was said to have revealed to The Norwich Tab that University of East Anglia will be demolishing Norfolk Terrace amidst the ongoing rivalry between its student residents and those who live in Suffolk Terrace. The email outlined that the decision had been made to rid UEA’s campus of the hall due to Suffolk Terrace’s “superior” facilities and amenities.

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