UWE’s Maddest Fresher: the sixth nominee
Our second girl
With some pretty unexplainable debauchery described by our nominees so far, it’s easy to see that UWE is the loosest uni going. Our next nominee doesn’t fall short in the partying department, and it seems we could all learn a lesson in bad behaviour from her.
19 year old Cotswold Court resident Ellie studies Sports Rehabilitation, but we’re guessing she might need a different kind of rehab after all this partying.
She describes herself simply as a ‘psycho’, and her friends argue that she ‘always exceeds expectations’ and is a ‘crazy cunt’. Nice.
When asked why she deserves the ‘Maddest Fresher’ crown, she told the Tab: ‘Been banned from Pryzm for 3 months after being kicked out 3 times in a row; on the 3rd time I was “spiked” and fell down the stairs Pryzm had to call an ambulance and I was taken to the BRI, once being admitted I tried to run out of the hospital 3 times but on the third time was put in a headlock by a male nurse on the ward and according to my friend “punched him in the face” then handcuffed to my hospital bed with a security guard next to me. I had a hairline fracture in my elbow and was “released” that morning.’
The theme of being ‘escorted out’ is something that runs through Ellie’s stories, with similar tales from other clubs: ‘I was also escorted out of Lola’s.’
Her proudest moment at UWE has been attending ‘two lectures a week out of 12’. £9000 well spent.
Ellie’s stories of debauchery went on, and we loved her encounter with a hen party: ‘Played pub golf for a friend’s birthday and had been drinking for 8 hours, last hole was Walkabout everyone was smashed and decided to go home but forgot about me charging my phone under a table and so when I came out everyone had left! As it was only 11pm i thought it would be a good idea to go down harbour side to bsb and order myself 4 jaegur [sic] bombs and then got taken in by a hen do who gave me pink fluffy ears and I followed them to Pryzm where I carried on partying and drinking on my one till 3am.’
Ellie also sent us the occasional statement out of the blue, example of which are: ‘Loves a Blue Mountain sesh’, and ‘Sesh squad’. Thanks Ellie.
Remember, you can still nominate your friends by messaging our page here. Remember to give us a like.