Which Newcastle night out are you based on your Zodiac sign?

Geminis will be buried in Market Shaker

3 years ago

Post lockdown, you won’t want to waste time deciding where to go out because the 21^st of June should be spent getting drunk with your mates – not arguing over which club you’ll head out to.

So why not just check your natal chart? We’ll tell you what Newcastle night out you’re most compatible with.

Aries (March 21-April 19) – Swingers

Chaotic Aries energy screams a Thursday night in Swingers. You’re drawn to the outdoors (even more so after being cooped up inside for this long), so will feel right at home in the fairy light-filled alley. Being such an independent person means that getting lost in the crowd of Geordies won’t phase you – in fact, you’ll definitely be in your element. Just keep in mind that there will be a long queue, we know how impatient you can be.

Taurus (April 20-May 20) – Sinners

Dependable, loyal and introverted. You find comfort in consistency, and the secure railings of the Sinners cage welcome you in with open arms. A predictable playlist of “Gold Digger”, “No Diggity” and “Lose Yourself” coupled with three trebs sounds like music to your ears. Although, your procrastinating tendencies have gotten worse over lockdown. This means that you’ll definitely leave pres late, so you probably won’t have many other options anyway.

Gemini (May 21-June 20) – Market Shaker

Geminis are social butterflies and are also the most extroverted of the zodiacs. Between chatting shit to course mates in the queue and taking pictures with strangers under the pink neon sign, you’ll impulsively buy rounds for all of your mates and quickly lose them all again straight after. Your unreliability might also cause a few arguments throughout the night – apparently, some things don’t change.

Cancer (June 21-July 22) – Bar Blanc

As the protective and intuitive friend, it would be wrong for Cancers to be anywhere other than Blanc. You’re a highly emotional person, however hate addressing your own feelings, so will happily listen to others complain about their own failed relationships (while you compulsively overthink yours). Osborne Road is calling your name. Plus, the close proximity of Blanc to your house means that when you become overly sensitive to a mate’s sarcastic comment, you won’t have far to walk home.

Leo (July 23-August 22) – Jungle at House of Smith

Jungle Thursdays at House of Smith were made for you. Not only are Leo’s the “King of the Jungle”, but they’re also top of the VIP list and it’s obvious there will be a table fixed with champagne waiting for you. We know that you’re the decision-maker amongst your friends, you decide where all of you go, and you’re usually the last one to leave afters. Be cautious not to dominate conversations this June – your mega confidence might come across as a little aggressive.

Virgo (August 23-September 22) – Tup Tup

Tup Tup is classy and reliable, just like a Virgo. Your lockdown has been spent getting ready for Zoom drinks, so coming back to the clubs has been a highly anticipated moment. You prefer to dress up for nights out, but being a water sign makes you very emotional – you always end up a sobbing mess by the end of it. As long as the ID and keys make it home, it’s been a successful night.

Libra (September 23-October 22) – MSA

Being diplomatic and sociable means that you’ll be happy enough to go wherever everyone else is. But MSA will be a winning choice for you if you’re left to make a decision. The low ceilings and smoking area will feel peaceful after being away for so long. It’s also compact enough to soothe the anxiety of losing your mates. Try not to overthink when you’re out – you’re wrong in believing everyone is always mad at you. Also, prepare to have “the fear” on the morning of the 22nd June.

Scorpio (October 23-November 21) – Cosmic Ballroom

Scorpios usually seek an underground scene. You’ve been craving a techno set since last March, and won’t pass up the £3 entry at Cosmic Ballroom. Stepping into an unknown space like a room filled with electric music always ignites your creative side, and you’ve been waiting eagerly for it. Be wary of your jealous leanings this June – they can come across as manipulative and could end up ruining the night…

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) – Flares

A night out on the 21^stof June will probably be a spontaneous plan for you. Being a fire sign, you’re always impatient and impulsive, so the short queue at Flares is ideal. You’re probably only there for the cheap VKs and photobooth pics, but the non-stop high-intensity music will be enough to keep your active mind occupied for the night. We know you’re usually an angry drunk, so be careful not to start any unnecessary arguments on the dance floor…

Capricorn (December 22-January 19) – The Cut

Lockdown has probably made you even shyer than you already were. You’ll undoubtedly opt for The Cut to relieve stress about crowds. The nostalgic tunes always seem to draw you back in. Tradition is key for you, so your mates already know that’s where you’ll be (and straight to the Subway next door afterwards for your usual). Be aware that delaying preparation for the first post lockdown night-out might cause you more trouble in the long run.

Aquarius (January 20-February 18) – Soho

The one and only Soho for Aquarius. You are stubborn, sarcastic and hate being confined to one space. To be quite honest, there’s no better place for you. Classic tunes, free entry and trebs are also an added bonus. But your short temper and likelihood of getting kicked out for talking back to a bouncer is very high – be watchful of this.

Pisces (February 19-March 20) – Bijoux

Being a water sign makes you extremely adaptable. So, when everywhere else is full and you’re undoubtedly forced to go to Bijoux, you really aren’t that bothered. Cheap trebs and fancy booths will keep you happy, while your more extroverted friends scour for Geordie Shore stars and take pics in the fancy toilets. Make an effort to leave your moodiness at home – it doesn’t look good on you.