The A to Z of thoughts all Newcastle uni students have had this year

V stands for ‘vaccinate me rn’

At least I’m not falling down the Soho stairs twice a week

That spiral staircase literally haunts us in our dreams, but at least we didn’t break both our hands while falling down it like this student did.

Blanc is so close… yet so far



Trying to do our assignments but can’t see through the tears.

“Dene or Exhibition Park?”

Once a friendly suggestion, now the curse of every day of our lives – and there’s only so many Instagram stories you can upload of the Dene’s waterfall before it gets weird. If you have a car at uni and can visit Tynemouth often don’t talk to us (jk befriend us so we can come please).

Everyday feels the same

This is as self-explanatory as it gets, big fat cba.

Fuck the glasses, let’s just have a bottle each

Beer? Wine? Vodka? It all goes down the same once you’ve had enough.

Go on then Harry, let’s have a hot tub

Newcastle student house backyard or Love Island villa? After a couple of drinks in the water, you’ll be guaranteed to forget – come on, let’s have a chat by the fire pit.

How many takeaway coffees a week is too many takeaway coffees a week?

Apparently giving up a daily takeaway coffee can save you £1000 each year. Imagine how many trebs you could buy with that money.

I need to get my 10,000 steps in

By now, you should know how many steps the walk from your house to the Robbo or the Marj is, and how many times you’ll have to run up and down the stairs of your student house to make up those last couple hundred steps to reach 10k.

Just want a boogie at Market Shaker

Close your eyes. It’s January 2020, the tunes are blaring and you’re boogying to Dancing Queen whilst downing your seventh blue treb. Life is good.

Kicking myself for not starting to work out in the first lockdown

With only 59 days to go until we can leave the country, someone tell us how we’re meant to look beach-ready by then? Can’t even walk up the stairs to the fourth floor of the Marj without panting at this point.

Looks like there’s nothing in the fridge, takeaway it is

It would be rude not to support the economy at this time! Do your bit and order that pizza, your soul will thank you for it.

My God, almost got hit by a scooter

You wouldn’t be a true Newcastle student if you haven’t yet been tempted to rent a scooter just to feel something.

Never mind, that Zoom seminar isn’t that important anyway

You tell yourself as you continue to sit in bed in your pj’s despite literally having nothing else to do.

Oh, it’s a Tuesday!

Put a finger down if Tuesday Debates has ever been the only reason you could keep track of what day of the week it is.

Please let my Robbo crush be in the same seat as yesterday

I got dressed up just for you today, those old sweats you saw me in yesterday were just a joke – I don’t actually look like that… I promise.

Qualitative research who?

How are dissertation deadlines so close and why do we still not know what qualitative research is, or how to do it?

Right, shall we get dressed up to sit in the lounge and drink?

Those endless lockdown purchases can’t go to waste, may as well show them off to your housemates (again). Dressing up and drinking with your housemates on the weekends might be the only way to escape the never-ending sameness of your current life. You don’t need alcohol to have a good time, but you don’t need a good time to have alcohol either.

“Shall I send a super like?”

Don’t do it, it looks desperate.

Tesco date anyone?

Meet me in the queue, buy me a ready meal and propose to me by the booze aisle – I’m yours. Unless you’re wanting to go to Tesco to search for Little Moons, then you can stay away (6 feet at least).


Cobwebs down there, same hun.

Vaccinate me rn


“Why have I just spent three hours on TikTok?”

You ask yourself at 2am in the morning, come on – at this point even your “for you page” can’t tell you more about how lazy you are, get a grip and do something productive (lol jokes, keep swiping).


What we would do for some kisses and hugs right now… the lack of physical contact and necking strangers in Grey’s Club do be getting to us.

Youth is slipping away

Who would’ve thought that we’d be spending our early 20s locked inside. This past year has been unbearably long yet continues to fly by at an alarming rate. Uni is supposed to be the best three years of your life, oh how we laughed.

“Zoom quiz?”

Get the fuck out, absolutely not.

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