I survived my first St Paddy’s Day in the Toon and this is how it went

Any excuse to drink am I right x


With the Toons’ already incredible drinking culture, St Paddy’s Day is like no other – just with an excessive amount of green face paint and Guinness. Not a fan btw. The prep in advance for this day was already tiring, but drinking from 12pm till 2am is not for the faint-hearted. Alas, I am currently lying in bed reflecting on my last 24 hours with a banging headache, but I have never been more grateful for the Irish.

Big up x

First stop: Jam Jar

Unfortunately for my friends, I was in a rush, attempting to finish my first drink before I shut the door and said goodbye to my self-respect and dignity for the day. The first drink did hit me harder than I’d like to admit (pathetic lightweight) so I headed into Jam Jar seeing double…

Now, I may receive death threats from the Irish or fragile rugby boys for saying this but I don’t like Guinness. Pick me, choose me, love me x

I have tried to enjoy it but I can’t take a sip without gagging, therefore I opted for a double vodka orange which might I add, I drank faster than everyone else who pretended to enjoy Guinness.

I was forced to pose with Guinness since my double looked very pathetic in comparison…

Second stop: The Phoenix

Despite staying in Jam Jar for an hour, I quickly understood why people start so early – THE QUEUES ARE INSANE.

It also felt really wrong to be on Osbourne Road before 6pm, so many characters I forgot existed in daylight…

Here’s where my impatience and knowledge of my weak bank account kicked in because I didn’t buy a drink. I was in the front at the bar then remembered, there’s alcohol at home which is free = girl math core.

Cute vibes overall in there but I was RAVENOUS at this point.

Third stop: At home lining the stomach

With a DIY pina colada in hand, I quickly dived into some chips, mozzarella sticks and a fishcake – rogue I know – and felt ready to take on the rest of the day.

It was also 2pm by this point and my body was crying for a nap but no rest for the wicked especially on St Paddy’s Day so a Monster, zero sugar of course, brought me back to life.

Fourth stop: Pres at 4pm?

Playing darts against a board made up of a cheesy garlic pizza bread box was not the day I had imagined. I was incredibly shit at darts btw, it was a HUMBLING experience to say the least.

Like I said before, being drunk in the daytime can feel wrong and this house, as lovely as it was had so much bright lighting it felt like I was closer to heaven than the sun setting.

We quickly sped after an hour and walked to town from Jesmond, walking the longest way also which has never felt so fast yet so short. Of course, drinking some journey juice en route. Ubers were also extortionate, nature is free x

Fifth stop: Filthys

I lost my Filthys virginity! What a sentence.

For only £2.50 a ticket, I had a brilliant time 10/10 experience.

Barely knew any of the Irish songs they played but the decor was cute and the vibes were immaculate. I entered in the daylight and left in the pitch black which made me feel more normal. I was still very tired at this point but powered through.

Sixth stop: Maccies

Spent a grand total of £1.79 on a Mayo Chicken (with cheese) which made me feel right as rain. I blame Maccies for being the sole reason I abandoned vegetarianism, what kind of crack cocaine is in their nuggets?

Walked home (again) to prepare for another pres and night out in the town, I will and have walked 500 miles x

Seventh stop: Pres #2

Arrived late as usual, but on a good level of drunk ready to take on the night (regret).

Also met some actors from the Glasgow Wonka Experience – starstruck and drunk, what more can you ask for?

Eighth stop: Town

Thank God for metro replacement buses x

Town was hell as you can imagine, I’m not sure what was in the air last night but some bouncers couldn’t have cared less if you lived or died LOL.

I was in fight or flight mode until we finally got in somewhere without being screamed at x

Ninth stop: The Cut

Hadn’t been here since Le Freak Tuesdays (miss you btw) and oh the nostalgia!

It wasn’t too packed either which made me feel less claustrophobic and the bouncer himself was bringing the energy – to my surprise we took a picture with him which I found this morning how wholesome.

This was slowly followed by what I thought was a tactical chun which was actually an I need to go home chun, RIP.

10th stop: Maccies round two

Did I order 20 chicken nuggets just for myself? Yes, and I am not ashamed. Impeccable taste as per.

Despite waiting about a century and a half for the food, the entertainment kept me going – from people dancing around to a random idiot attempting to knick people’s food then proceeded to get kicked out.

I was also called a see-you-next-Tuesday by a random man as I was leaving which really topped off the night x

I didn’t sleep till 4:30am after walking back to Jesmond with the birds tweeting – top of the morning as they say.

Thank you to the Irish for commemorating such a day, see you next year.

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