What your choice of April 12th beer garden in Newcastle says about you

If it isn’t Shaker, you’re doing it wrong

Quayside Wetherspoons

Yes, the beer garden is huge and has a pretty river view at the back, but if it’s your first choice, you’re either a first-year and this is the only beer garden you’ve heard of, or you’re painfully basic. Either way, waiting six months to go drinking and choosing Wetherspoons is not the move. If you’re choosing the Five Swans Wetherspoons however, we can let you off… almost.

Market Shaker

This is a very solid choice, so we can’t fault you for it. You’re probably really likeable, friendly and know how to make good decisions. You’re going to have a genuinely good time on April 12th with your slice of pizza and lots of trebs, so well done for making such a respectable choice.

Beach Box

Beach Box is a great location but if you choose it for April 12th, you’re definitely ordering a pornstar martini and are more concerned about the Insta pictures you’re going to get than actually having a good time. You’re also going to be really cold in your Oh Polly jeans and a nice top combo, because the wind that comes off the motorway is something else. Sorry.


Does STACK even count as a beer garden? You’re either really really rich because the drinks there are spenny, or you’re still dwelling on the fact that we didn’t get to go out in December to experience STACK fire pits and mulled wine – grow up and move on.

Tyne Bar

This goes for anywhere in Ouseburn: You’re cool. Like really, actually cool – simple as. You’ll most likely be wearing something super casual and vintage on April 12th but still manage to look amazing whilst holding your craft beer.

Bar Blanc

You don’t like to travel too far from home, and once you’ve finished sinking pints you want to be within walking distance of your nice warm bed, and that’s okay. You know what you like and stick to it. Osborne Road = drinks, deals and flares.

The Old George

You want the best of both worlds – the homely comfort of a pub, paired with the town centre location. You’re either very indecisive or a bit of a traditionalist at heart, wanting to be in the centre of the action. Oh, and you LOVE sport.

A real pub

If you’re choosing an actual pub’s beer garden outside of the city centre with a name like “The Lion and Horse”, you’re probably really laid back and aren’t too fussed about trying to make April 12th feel like a proper night out. You’re chilled and stress free because you aren’t rushing to book popular venues and your drinks will be so cheap all evening – it’s a win win if you ask us.

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