Forget Rahstle Leazes, Ricky Road will always be the maddest halls

It was recently claimed that Castle Leazes will always be better than Ricky Road, and there are so many reasons why this is wrong. 

Despite Ricky looking like a walk-in clinic’s waiting room, and smelling like one too, it will always be crazier, sexier, and just more awesome than Rahstle Leazes.

You may outnumber us in puffa jackets and financial capital, but you will never beat the £3 Pinot Grigio and Frosty Jacks-fuelled antics that happen within these grossly-bricked walls.

And here’s why:

Here at Richardson Road, we welcome a plethora of classes and backgrounds

Our pres are better 

The first and only time that I have ever been to Castle Leazes is to go to pre drinks before a night out. The rumours said it would be in “true Castle Leazes style”. A few fellow Roaders and I rocked up, worked our way through the maze of towering blocks, trudged up about 12 flights of stairs, and we were there. To be fair to them, it was in true Castle Leazes style.

There were three boys and four girls bopping about in a sweaty dark room. To make it even more spacious and wild, a bed had been pushed up against the wall, and grime was blasting from some shitty Bluetooth Sony speakers.

Ricky predrinks, however, will always and forever be legendary. In the comfort of a sitting room and good company there is never a boring moment. Expect the occasional appearance from the infamous Debbie Dumpling, and maybe even the Ket Fairy.

There’s never a dull moment here

Squatting is better than not socialising

The previous article posted a photo of some very relaxed and content Ricky Roaders in a bit of a messy flat. My first thought was not “Ew”, but “Aww.”

When looking at it, I saw smiling faces and sociable people. It is deeply upsetting to think that Castle Losers can’t simply sit in their own flat in a place that’s not their bedroom.

Some may look at this with disgust. I look on with pride.

We make the most of our sociable living area

You may think you have the Trent House, but you’re mightily wrong

It’s our’s. End of.

A few cheery Roaders enjoying their Trent territory

Free Food?!

You fucking pay for it.

Ricky is better because you can choose when you want to eat, what you want to eat, and lunch is included in a self-catered loan.

I’d love to pay £4,762.10 a year to not get food on weekends.

We’re always finding new ways to avoid facing the real world

You may be more classy, but you are certainly not more fun

Ricky Road will always be gross, it will always look like it’s inhabitable, and yes the showers are plastic. But none of that matters to a true Ricky Roader because living here is the big triangular-windowed land of opportunity.

Not only do we go harder and better at Ricky, we are also extremely artistic

To live in Ricky is to discover your true potential: how much vodka can you neck before throwing up in the kitchen sink? How quickly can you get drugs from an infamous Ricky dealer? And most importantly, how long can you leave the washing up until it starts to reproduce its own food?

The only bad thing is that by the end of the year, Ricky will be gone.

But do not despair: the legends to have walked these stairs, the drunken sex these springy beds have endured, and the laughter these walls have heard will live on in memory forever.

Touche, Leazes, touche.