From your second year Fairy Godmother: Here are 10 mistakes to avoid in your first year

Although first years have never been for just taking some advice (I definitely wasn’t), I am fairy godmothering and giving it away anyway. And it’s priceless. And doesn’t disappear when the clock turns 12. It will be on The Tab forever. So, from diet to clubs and societies, here are a million (10) mistakes a first year might make and how to avoid them.

P.S It doesn’t get better in second year x

The Gordon Ramseys

Don’t worry, all those people that claim they cook three times a day, seven days a week are lying. Don’t fall for their “health is wealth” lies. Your pesto pasta is just fine. Just add some broccoli now and again x

Queuing for clubs

As a rite of passage for the students of Newcastle, I would advise against getting in the habit of getting stuck in the 45 minute queue five days a week. Just have some dignity and go to Pumphreys. They play better ABBA songs and don’t make you stand in the wind, rain, and snow.

Not joining societies

Societies are for everyone and a great place to make friends! And you can join us at any time! From a second year who literally did not believe they were real last year and thought all the girls dressed up in slutty army costumes were just on leave from Catterick x

…Joining societies

However, be warned of SOME societies’ tendency to humiliate and degrade their first years (ahem rugby rituals). Going on a night out in a nappy/drinking piss/confiding your deepest darkest secrets to over 30 lads is probably not worth the friends you are making.

But some may call it bonding x

GO TO YOUR LECTURES

Don’t forget to remember what you are paying for. If your seminar leaders ask you if you are in the wrong room on the sixth week of you not showing up – that’s on you.

Don’t let the hangovers get you.

The September housing pressure

Don’t fall victim to the scammy landlords, the extortionate prices of West Jesmond and choosing the wrong people to live with. But don’t leave it until December either. Basically just make good decisions.

(Fairy godmothering done well).

Take some vitamins

Health kind of actually is wealth and as a first year, you will probably forget what a carrot looks like. So just buy the vitamins you’re missing! Easy solution! Its not as if first years aren’t a little partial to some suspicious looking pills, anyway.

And if not for your health, do it for the hangovers.

Not leave the city centre

There is actually life beyond the university campus, believe it or not. Get a metro to Tynemouth or Whitley Bay, or walk to Heaton (don’t believe the rumours, it actually has some really cute cafes). There is more to Newcastle than Shaker, Greys and Soho Wednesdays.

GET A POP CARD

This actually is not an advertisement, but it is a public service announcement. Google them. Great value. Literally, go anywhere all day for £2.10. Thank me later x

Take advantage of the student discount

In your first year of university, it feels like it will last forever. But it won’t. So get the discounts while you can – on Deliveroo, Dominos (still extortionate though) and H&M.

No seriously, university goes so fast, you’ll be a graduate before the Market Shaker queue gives up.

Related articles recommended by this author:

• 10 things that consistently humble me as a Newcastle Uni student
• ‘It can’t be that expensive can it?’: The expectations vs reality of a Newcastle Uni student
• Gap yah and oh yah: Here are the seven things you need to qualify as a ‘rah’ in Jesmond