Why I hate Instagram

Remember those days in school when the kid who had new LA Gears wouldn’t shut up about them? It was annoying. But it doesn’t stop Instagram encouraging this sort of rubbish on a daily basis.

It literally took me ten minutes to find these pictures; here’s why I hate Instagram.

People take pictures of pointless things like pets

#PugLife #Dog #Pet #PugLove #Cute

I could probably guess that it’s a picture of a pug, which is a dog, and that the reason you’re posting is because it’s your pet. But a wise man once said a picture is worth a thousand hashtags. So use a thousand hashtags!

(Guarantee he’s not so cute when he takes a shit in your flowers)

#instacat #instagood #catsagram #cute #catsofinstagram #lovemycat

#loveitifhetookashit

Food porn is annoying

#FoodLove #FoodGasm #Breakfast #Healthy #Morning #Love #Hastag

“I will tell several hundred people that I am eating breakfast” … Some would say words can’t explain this type of thought. But I can. It just means you’re boring.

Food so irresistible you just have to take a picture of it
#foodporn #foodgasm #instafood

It’s no longer enough to enjoy a meal with a friend and have fun. Everyone knows these days that you’re not having fun unless other people know. We live our lives one Valencia filter at a time.

Posing is for pricks

If I saw anyone posing like this in my gym I would drop a plate on myself

Even celebrities (if you can call this guy a celebrity) can’t resist Instagram’s temptation of trying to craft the perfect life either. Here is Craig David poncing about when instead he should be working out. Call me bitter that it has over 5,000 likes but I’m stronger than him – haters gonna hate.

#Beauty – I kid you not, this punk actually tagged this with his picture

Modest #CzechBoy here is aiming for the deep and meaningful pose he saw in a Brad Pitt movie. Instead he looks like he is dying of starvation (which is not such a good look).

New hair… but does anyone care?

This girl has new hair but it could’ve easily been a perfume advert.

#NoMakeUp
Want a medal?

I always wear no make up, maybe I should post my daily selfie too.

Idiots pretend they have money

Nothing says “I’m a washed up car salesman” like a second hand Rolex

Instagram equivalent of buying a Grey Goose and swagging about in a snapback.

If you don’t have a fake Rolex from China either, just go to the ATM.

“I didn’t choose the thug life. The thug life chose me”

However, if you don’t even have this much… then it’s better to just stick to Costa.

I am almost fooled that this coffee and gingerbread man cost a lot more than a fiver

For some reason there is massive obsession with Costa on Instagram which I don’t understand and never will.

#Costalove #Costa #Coffee #CostaCoffee #Love

If you’re too lazy to edit stuff but you want to fit in… just upload a picture of a cup off the floor (don’t even bother buying it, you can find these around easily).

Instagram or Instasham?

Perhaps the real problem with Instagram is that there are no consequences. There isn’t a dislike button. Instead, the only action that can be taken is one that actively encourages people to post more stuff. Like a krokodil addict, Instagram users crave a rush, and as you can see they will post pretty much anything and everything to get their fix of likes.

What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve seen on Instagram? Let us know in the comments below.