Socials, tour stories and ‘swimcest’: The swim team reveals all

We sat down with Craig Batt, social sec of Swimming, Eve Burns-Thomas, Water Polo captain, and they spilled some secrets on the water babies on campus.

Eve Burns-Thomas, Water Polo captain, and Craig Batt, Swimming social sec

Hi guys. What are your typical socials like? 

E: “In a small house usually – usually the social sec’s. And we go on a lot of bar crawls.”

C: “Tight and bright, that’s our thing. It’s our speciality. We wear leggings and speedos.”

E: “And bathers.”

Team drink?

C: “We just drink whatever, whatever there is.”

E: “Cheap wine.”

Biggest lightweight?

E: “India Cotton”

C: “You – definitely you Eve.”

Bachelor of the team?

C: “Brandon Chan.”

E: “Yeh Brandon. He doesn’t really drink so he’s always on it. But he’s a nice bachelor.”

E: “Player bachelor, probably Rich. He’s slept with everyone.”

C: “Full on swimcest.”

Social stories

E: “Last year, on the first swimming social, I got pulled down the stairs. I cracked my head open – and got into the O2. My head was dripping with blood and I still got in, they [the bouncers] were like “just dab it off”. And then I walked to the hospital later.”

C: “Two or three freshers didn’t make it into the O2. We did boat races with beer and wine, so a few didn’t even make it from my house.”

E: “Every single swimming social I went on last year I didn’t make it to the O2”

Worst with the ladies?

E: “Rich [Richard Grimstead]?”

C: “Dan Jefferys.”

E: “Yeh, he’s normally too drunk to function.”

Least likely to graduate?

E: “Rich, and Annie Constable. She hasn’t started her dissertation yet and it’s due before Easter.”

Best accent?

E: “Craig.”

Who’s the dirtiest?

E: “Honor Hodgson. She won this title in the netball interview, and she can win it again. She ate cereal out of a saucepan with a mixing spoon. But mainly she never really gets to the toilet in time when she’s drunk, and I’ve had to unbutton her trousers before to help her. That’s all I’ll say.”

Biggest package?

C: “I don’t know. We’ll give that to Rich.”

Tour stories?

E: “On tour, one of the girls went in between two people whilst they were having sex and splatted a pie on them.”

C: “Sophie Ng was kicked out of a restaurant on tour because she got up on the table and stripped.”

Sneak peak of tour?

C: “Tight and bright, pimps and hoes. The girls are the pimps.”