Rate my request: Here are all the worst songs requested in Sugar last Friday

We have one question for the Sugarhouse: what the hell were you thinking when you decided to start taking requests? Yeah, there might have been a little external pressure from Instagram pages and Google Reviews, but you could’ve just let that roll off your back. But no, instead you decided to open the music up to the forum, and in this case, the forum is a bunch of really weird Lancaster students.

If you can’t be bothered to scroll down the 1,500 song requests the club got last Friday, we’ve rounded up the very worst songs people wanted to hear last week. Sorry if we mentioned your request, maybe it’s time to renovate your playlist.

Drag Me Down – One Direction

We, as a society, need to start getting over our One Direction phase. They’re never coming back, guys. We have to let it rest. Let’s keep Drag Me Down for the 1D club nights. Or don’t. We’re not in charge.

Mae Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau – London Welsh Rugby Choir

Look, if we have one national anthem, we’ll have to have them all and that’ll literally last all night. Also, a London choir singing the Welsh anthem? Really?

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas – Michael Bublé

I don’t care what anyone says. This was requested on October 28th. That’s not Christmas. That’s not anywhere near Christmas.

Your New Boyfriend – Wilbur Soot

The next person to request a song by a Minecraft YouTuber is getting reported to the vice chancellor, I’m not even lying.

Roslyn – Bon Iver

We’re all for sad girl autumn but how on earth are we meant to act when Bon Iver starts singing “wings wouldn’t help you” at the club? Just because it was in Twilight doesn’t mean it’s good for Sugar as well.

Halo Theme – Martin O’Donnell and Michael Salvatori

You can’t dance to the Halo theme, and you can’t sing to it. Well, maybe you could sing along if you tried hard enough, but it still doesn’t get a pass. If you wanted to hear the drone of the Halo theme you should’ve stayed at home with your Xbox and your lack of a significant other.

Bob the Builder Theme – CBeebies

Have we been transported back in time to a year four disco? We didn’t even like this song then! Do you not remember chanting “no we can’t!” to this song whenever it played at school events? Is that the vibe we’re going for here?

How Bad Can I Be? – Ed Helms and Kool Kojak

I don’t care how much of a bop you think it is. I don’t care about the Onceler Tumblr blog you ran when you were fourteen. The club isn’t the best place to find a Lorax so to Netflix, you should go.

Champions League Anthem – Tony Britten

Football boys are actually a problem. Nobody wants this.

Satisfied – Renée Elise Goldsberry

Time to confess: who told the Theatre students about the requests app? No Hamilton at the club in the year of our Lord 2022, thanks very much.

Gaming Lo-Fi Beats

They should have played this one just to see what happened.

Divorced, Beheaded & Died – Horrible Histories

Actually, this probably would have gone hard. Petition for Sugar to play at least one Horrible Histories song a week.

Gangnam Style – Psy

Again, we’re not at a school disco. Also again, seeing this play 0ut would be a fun social experiment. How many people would remember the dance? Remember the lyrics? Maybe we should band together to get this one out next Friday as well.

You can request your own terrible songs for Sugar this Friday using RequestBox.

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