We’re ranked 52nd in the tables
Every participant will receive a Santa hat, medal, mince pie and a bottle of water
We were ranked 15th best university to study Linguistics
They’re even putting posters up in Sugarhouse
According to the 2016 National Student Survey
So much for being cutting edge
If all else fails, be a good sport
“We’ve already thrashed them on the league tables but we still need to go that little bit further”
The last thing we need is another club closure
