These are Lancaster University’s goofiest modules
I’m sure Postmodern Dance will teach you how to be a really edge barista
It’s over halfway through the year and the uni is gearing up to lure the next batch of Sixth Formers to our lovely campus home. They’ve released a new prospectus, they’re amping up the open days and they’re presumably firing out emails with reckless abandon.
What might the students of tomorrow be coming here to learn? These are a selection of the weirdest, wackiest or most pointless-sounding modules on offer (and I tried not to just list all the FASS ones).
Well that just sounds really really depressing.
There’s six of them. What are they? Nobody knows. They’re all 100 per cent coursework-based. Coursework on what? Nobody knows.
Imagine the rinsing you’d get if you missed a deadline for this from overwork.
This module is a prerequisite for working with LUSU.
I’m paying nine grand a year to get told to go and do my own thing. The cheek of it.
Quickly Robin, pass me the BatRuler!
Okay I think I spoke too soon about Cancer being the most depressing module ever.
Lancaster does like to tout it’s graduate employment rates – gotta keep your options open I guess.
You spend four years learning about data mining and then Thatcher comes along and shuts them all down. Bloody typical.
Preparation for what? Oh you know, just generally being prepared. The module convener must be an ex-Scoutmaster.
They’re all Vancouver anyway.
I like the Department of European Languages and Cultures – they clearly have fun naming their modules.
Thankfully for postgrads, the Educational Research department offer two alternative modules for their thesis’ – one for people who hate capital letters and one for people who love ’em.
Fall asleep in your lecture and get a First.
I mean, this could apply to most of the English Lit modules, but who on Earth gives a toss.
Lemme save you some time: you look at it.
I wish you the best of luck in never ever leaving academia.
I might get my name changed by deed poll to ‘Global Danger’.
Rome: Total War was so so sick.
Can’t argue with that, it certainly is a place in both space AND time. gj Department of History.
Man, the field trips are INSANE.
Congratulations, you’re the world’s most boring human being. Now go have a shower you mucky bastard.
I’m sure Postmodern Dance will teach you how to be a really edgy barista
I mean, The Exorcist is pretty sick, but do you really need to do a whole module on it?
This is the laziest module name ever. You can almost picture the convener dictating it to his secretary (do academics get secretaries?) “Um so there’s clothes in it. And cars. Some of them, um, whatchamacallits, gizmos. And some other stuff I guess. C’mon Matilda, let’s go to The Herdwick.” Trebles all round!