Cambridge Bombs In Booze Survey

New survey results show students at nearly every other uni drink more than the average Cambridge student.

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While many Cantabs like to think they’re huge lads when it comes to drinking, a new survey has found Cambridge students drink significantly less than students at other unis.

We’re normally used to being number one when it comes to league tables, but placed Cambridge a dismal 51st out of 68 in terms of weekly alcohol consumption at university.

Despite notoriously drunken Cambridge traditions like swaps, the Wyverns’ Garden Party and Caesarian Sunday, the average Cambridge student’s weekly alcohol intake was found to be just 14.7 units – the equivalent of 10 VKs, 7 pints or a bottle and a half of wine.

President of Trinity drinking society The Cobblers, defended Cam’s record, telling The Tab: “I am currently drinking a £15.99 beverage in Lola Lo. It’s about quality not quantity.”

Second-year English student Grace Brown agreed, saying: “Even though Cambridge students don’t get pissed that often, when we do, we do it properly.”

But for some the result aren’t surprising. Third-year Tit Hall historian Kit Pyman told The Tab: “Clearly this study is 100% accurate, seeing as most people here are 100% shitlads.”

Leeds Metropolitan University topped the alcoholic charts, racking up an intimidating average of 26.7 units per week, 80% more than Cambridge’s consumption.

Tabs can take comfort from the fact that their result, tied with Warwick, trumped other top unis like Bristol, King’s College London, and, vitally, The Other Place, whose 13.8 units per week rank them 59th. Over 2,000 students responded to the survey.

Despite a low score nationwide, student drinking in Cambridge is still a big concern for college officials.

Earlier this month the Downing Master and Senior Tutor sent a warning to all students after a student nearly died from binging. Last May Week, St John’s also set up a ‘babysitting’ service, where sober students were paid up to £100 to care for lashed peers.

This latest survey follows Cambridge’s poor performance in studentbeans’ sex survey. Similar to the alcohol survey, Leeds Met students were found to be getting the 4th most action, while Cambridge slipped in at a disappointing 56th of 61.