Here are all of The Tab’s April Fools from up and down the country
Check the date
Our head office team managed to fool people across the UK by telling the world how Cadbury’s had located an unexpected Brexit loophole, allowing them to cut the price of Freddo down to 10p.
Everyone knows that Conor McGregor is a huge deal in Ireland, so we announced that Queen’s University were renaming one of their iconic campus buildings after the controversial MMA star. According to the fake quote by a QUB spokesperson:“Alongside his achievements in the sporting world, Conor McGregor is up there with the greats in the oratory circle. Certainly level with his contemporary Barack Obama, I would even go as far as to compare him to the Attic orators. Not since Ancient Greece has such incredible rhetoric been spouted.”
People at Brum have a weird obsession with their campus clock Old Joe. Naturally, they were horrified when we said it was scheduled to be torn down due to budget cuts.
The Tab Bristol and Epigram have always had a healthy rivalry, but we upped the ante this year by telling students that they were launching a new page three section of their print magazine. We even asked keen volunteers to send their pics to the editor to compete for a spot.
As anyone that’s ever been for a night out in Oxford will know, the options are limited. When Wahoo closed a little over six months ago, the students of Brookes were distraught. That’s why we decided to give them a glimmer of hope by claiming that “an Alumni who loves the sesh” had donated enough money to the club to re-open.
Obviously every student loves VKs, but in Bournemouth they’re completely obsessed. We announced that a VK-only club was to open in Bournemouth, featuring exclusive flavours only available there. And just like a warm blue VK, they swallowed it all.
In the midst of Brexit drama after Brexit Drama, we imagined a world where the Cambridge Student’s Union provided free therapy for Tabs struggling to deal with the invoking of Article 50.
Two cities steeped in rivalry, Cardiff and Swansea have been battling it out for years. With Cardiff inexplicably in the Russell Group, we decided to let Swansea join them up there.
Unlike a lot of unis, Durham has prestige, a Hogwarts aesthetic and a pristine academic reputation. What it doesn’t have however, is any decent fast food. That’s why we gave the students of Durham the gift of McDonalds this April Fools.
Edi’s finals style, pre-Christmas exams have long been cherished by students at Scotland’s top uni, so they were beside themselves when we said they’d have to revise over Christmas just like everyone else.
No-one likes revolving doors, they cause jams and are a nightmare on a hangover. So understandably the students of Glasgow panicked when they were told that doors all over campus would be going revolving.
One of the few highlights of attending uni in Kent is the sweet graduation ceremony in Canterbury Cathedral, one of southern England’s few world heritage sites. Imagine how gutted you’d be if they took that away from you?
Divestment is a huge hot button issue at King’s and that’s why they were delighted when we cruelly announced that Vivien Westwood was lending her artistic abilities and teaming up with King’s very own Roger Hallam.
If you’ve ever been to Leeds, you’ll know how seriously they take their sweaty basement house nights. In warehouses across the city, people get off their tits listening to DJs you’re definitely not cool enough to know. But come Monday morning, they’re just like the rest of us, building cultish obsessions over local food places. That’s why they lost their nut when we said renowned Sandwicherie Bakery 164 was putting on its own house night at Canal Mills.
In a stunning commitment to the joke, the team at UCL stripped themselves of this year’s varsity crown and gave it to their rivals King’s. It came after some rowdy displays at this year’s hockey fixture.
In Loughborough, Stuesday’s are everyone’s favourite night out. With £1.99 entry and cheap drinks, Tuesday nights in the Union are the place to let your hair down. The £1.99 entry fee is a sacred cow and they were livid when we announced it was raising by a whole pound.
Manchester has had its fair share of fancy dress controversies. That’s why our team thought it would be best if costumes were banned altogether at this year’s Pangaea to avoid any offence caused.
The SU at UEA is used to making headlines for all the wrong reasons. After they banned sombreros at a fresher’s week event in 2015, they were called out by papers across the world. So imagine the horror for the students of Norwich when they found out former SU officer Jo Swo was wearing the very thing she tried to ban.
At the University of Nottingham, cheese music is a religion and Ocean is its church. The highlight of any Friday night mass is the Baywatch tradition of stripping off, flinging your t-shirt around your head and screaming the lyrics into the ether. So when we said that the council were banning the song and the flinging of clothes, people did NOT take it well.
Every year the summer ball at Royal Holloway is held at the iconic Founder’s Hall, making for some great pics to show your grandkids. But this year, we told the students of London’s greenest university that it would be held in the far less glamorous Thistle Hotel due to renovations.
Like most Northern cities, Sheffield nails the greasy spoon and a long time student favourite is John’s Van. After a petition was started to get the food van to offer a vegan option, students were stunned to see it go completely vegan just in time for April 1st.
In a particularly cruel April fools, the team at the Soton Tab called off grad ball completely, following a Tab poll that said 85% of students were unhappy with the uni’s choice of location.
They’re big into organised fun at St Andrews, which is why they took the news of the cancellation of the sports night Sinners particularly badly. The reason for the cancellation? High winds.
Sussex dug up their VC’s shady past as a pirate radio DJ to give him one last crack at it with a final set at Shoosh, will all proceeds going to charity.
Last but not least, our team in Warwick forcibly retired local legend Disco Dave, the man behind all their cheesy music favourites on a Wednesday night. Not only did they kill him off his regular spot, they also callously announced they were changing the night of POP! as well as hiring a new DJ.