Exclusive: UoB’s beloved Old Joe is being knocked down

The university can no longer afford to maintain the iconic clock tower

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Its not been a good week for little old Britain; Theresa May formally triggered Article 50 and the Daily Mail is still being published. To top off a majorly awful week, it has been reported that UoB’s Old Joe is being knocked down.

Due to disastrous overspending and incompetence, the University can no longer afford to maintain the iconic clock tower. It’s thought that after “extensive deliberation” by the University, the Guild and the Birmingham council, a final decision has been made.

Time for the revolution to begin

As one of the University’s most prestigious landmarks, the demise of the much loved tower is a shocking revelation.

The reason behind the bulldozing of Old Joe comes as a result of the misuse of funding that went towards the new library banner.  The banner cost £27,000, equivalent to the cost of a whole three year degree.

A inside source told The Tab: ” The University thought the best way to save money was to abandon Old Joe. They saw it better to rid the uni of some bricks rather than take funding away from teaching facilities and staff.”

Shocked and saddened by the news, it has been reported that the University will make a full statement on April 1, 2017.

Before you get too worried, check the date