McDonald’s is finally coming to Durham

McDonald’s UK announced plans today to open a 24/7 fast-food restaurant opposite Tesco Metro on Silver Street in Durham city centre, scheduled for completion by October 2017.

As a two-week opening promotion, the store will offer vouchers for free chicken burgers and fillets-o-fish, as well as half-price student discount on selected meals, confirms project manager Isabelle Hunter.

The director of McDonald’s for North-East England, Thomas Butcher, told The Tab: “We hope students will be pleased to hear they’ll no longer have to travel five miles to eat a Big Mac”.

It’s obvious that the McDonald’s deficiency is the only reason Durham is regarded as a less prestigious university than rivals Oxford and Cambridge.

One prospective student told the Tab: “I was going to apply to Durham, but then I realised the only affordable option for late-night nuggets was Dixy Chicken. My place to read PPE at Oxford has just been confirmed”.

With this one wrinkle smoothed out, University Pro-Vice Health Chancellor, Florence Patrick, is confident that Durham will rise in the rankings:

“The deal with McDonald’s will definitely boost the local economy, and bring much joy to locals and students.”

Next year’s first-years and freps can look forward to half-price McDonald’s meals during freshers’ week, every minute of every hour of every day, as well as free food and fancy deals, right in the centre of town; every need instantly gratified. Just how our generation likes it.

Before you get too excited, check the date…