What does your choice of treb say about you?

The first treb post COVID-19 is gonna hit different

As Newcastle Uni students, we love nothing more than an evening of completely abusing our livers with cheap vodka, and the humble treb is the perfect way to do so. Admittedly, trebs may have seemed a bit daunting as freshers – but come final year and they’ll be your aperitif of choice (much to your parents dismay).

Vodka blue

Blueberry? Bubblegum? Who knows what the flavour of blue trebs actually is? Regardless, picture the scene – you’re pushing your way through the hoards of Soho go-ers with three blue trebs in hand, clutching at them in a desperate attempt to avoid inevitably spilling them all over your white flares. Don’t lie, you’ve been drawn in by the inviting electric blue, yet spent most of the next day wondering why your entire outfit is sticky and attempting to get the blue tinge off your tongue. Don’t worry – we’ve all been there, its all part of the learning curve.

Vodka Red Bull

If you actively choose to spend the remnants of your student loan on Vodka Red Bull, you either have a death wish or you enjoyed Calpol a little bit too much as a child. This treb will leave you either trying to convince your friends you’re having a heart attack in the middle of the club, or crying when ‘Champagne Supernova’ starts playing at the end of the night. There is no telling which way the night will go but either way, neither eventualities are massively positive.

Vodka lime and soda

If this treb tickles your fancy, you’re probably a bit boujee and spend the following day making green teas in order to cleanse your body of the toxins you consumed the night before. This choice may make you appear more sophisticated but you’ll still undoubtably end up in the same state as the rest of us. Regardless, we can’t blame you for choosing this treb with the flavour coming in at a solid 8/10.

Vodka lemondade

This is a classic combination, but one you can never go wrong with. Yes, it may sound boring when the choices are endless, but it really is the most effective way to perfectly mask the chunder-inducing flavour of Newcastle’s cheapest vodka. To make it even better, lemonade means you’ll never have to worry about your white Air Force’s becoming a charming shade of red or blue (should your drink spill) – sounds like a winner to us!

Vodka orange

If you opt for a vodka orange it’s for one of two reasons: you either think you’ll stay sober enough to make your 9am because you cannot necessarily taste the vodka or you’re still feeling a crippling hangover from the night before and any taste of alcohol will have you using the “she’s going to be sick!” ploy in the toilets.  If first reason applies to you, you’re playing a dangerous game – as soon as you wake up with 10 new Snapchat friends and an hours worth of cringe Instagram stories you’ll realise that the vodka was very much there. If that wasn’t enough to deter you, you’ll also wake up feeling as if your teeth are made of cotton wool – and don’t even get us started on the tooth sensitivity.

Whether you’re a classy lime and soda drinker, or prefer a fruity OJ – there really is a treb for everyone. But let’s be honest, when you wake up in the morning and your throat feels like the Sahara in August and your dignity has been left somewhere on the Swingers terrace, it really won’t make a difference.

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