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13 things you’ll relate to if you’re the clumsy friend

Your phone screen is always smashed


The Mum friend, the flaky friend, the sporty friend, we all have them.

If your day is filled with losing, breaking and forgetting something, then you must be, the 'clumsy friend.'

1. Constantly dropping your phone on your face

Especially scrolling through Instagram before you go to sleep. It’s happened so often that you’ve had to think of a new way to hold your phone in bed. Not only have you almost broken your nose, you’ve also accidentally liked someone’s photo from five years ago.

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2. Stairs are your worst nightmare

Whether it’s the three flights of stairs up to your seminar room, or the steep set up to your bedroom, you’ve definitely fallen down them multiple times. You’re so clumsy, that you’ve even fallen UP them. Club stairs are the absolute worst, especially with the countless amount of drinks spilled on them.

3. Mysterious bruises everywhere (especially on your legs)

After a night out, your legs look like a map of the world, with bizarrely shaped bruises dotted all over them. You can recall parts of the night, based on the different marks that have appeared on your body. It could’ve happened when you fell going into the club, or as you got out of the taxi at the end of the night. At the time, it didn’t hurt at all. This morning, you feel like you’re dying.

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4. You drop everything

It happens at least five times a day. You’re not trusted with anything valuable, and you’ve definitely smashed most of the plates in your house.

5. Tripping over your own feet

You’ve seriously considered if this is an actual medical problem. It mostly happens on completely flat ground, and you just tell everyone you have a weak ankle. Your friends steer clear when it happens because there’s a chance you might take them down with you. Is falling over air an actual thing?

6. Spilling drinks literally every day

Glasses of water must be kept a safe distance away at all times and you always have burns from spilling cups of tea.

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7. Avoiding light-coloured clothing: you will definitely spill something on them

You avoid white trousers like the plague and probably spilled something on your dress (or someone else’s dress) at prom. Red wine makes you feel nervous, after that one time you dropped it on a white carpet.

8. Always having a smashed phone screen

Screen protectors are useless, phone cases don’t work and you’ve spent so much money getting it fixed, at this point you could’ve bought a new phone. Of course the cracks are 5 times worse after every night out. Now you have to embrace the mum case.

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9. Dramatically screaming when something tiny happens

You’re so used to things going wrong, it’s a reflex to scream in anticipation. When you open a kitchen cupboard, there’s a 99 per cent chance a tin will fall on your head.

10. You've had numerous near-death experiences

Everywhere you go, you collect dangerous stories. Remember tripping over your laces, and nearly getting hit by a car? This happens on the daily, and you have the scars to prove it.

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11. You have hundreds of Snapchat memories documenting your clumsiness

Remember the time you dropped your entire pencil case in a lecture? Or when you spilled a massive pot of pesto pasta on the kitchen floor? You’ve obviously sent your friends a picture of these disasters, and they constantly come up on the memories.

12. Heels are a no-go

You can barely walk in trainers, never mind a six-inch heel. The thought of attending a formal occasion fills you with dread, as even standing still puts you in danger of snapping an ankle.

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13. Drinking intensifies all of these things

Literally ALL of them. Lack of coordination, plus alcohol is never safe. Your friends find you both annoying AND entertaining. You’ve probably woken up with a massive bump on your head and found out you spilled a drink on someone in the club. Trying to decode your clumsy messages from the night before is a difficult task.

You can't fix the 13, so you may as well embrace them.