For the last six years, I’ve pretty much relied on my glasses to get me through everyday life. When I flagged up to my parents that I couldn’t see my friends’ faces in the playground at primary school, it was decided that I probably didn’t have the world’s best eyesight. Off I went to Specsavers, and my glasses have basically allowed me to see for the last few years, and so improved my life a fair bit.

That’s why we thought it would be jokes to see what would happen if I had to go a week without them.

Monday

Woke up and was off to a great start straight away. I got ready for uni and instinctively put my glasses on as normal, and proceeded to carry on in blissful ignorance for five minutes, before remembering I’d had the great idea of seeing what it would like to be partially blind for a week.

I find dodging students on Lover’s Lane hard enough first thing on a Monday morning, without having to try and figure out if a big fuzzy blob was a human or a food van. It shouldn’t have been students I was worrying about however.

In hindsight, attempting to cross the road was a bit stupid really. I’m quite glad I managed to find the crossing, but without really knowing whether my light was red or green, I just decided to go for it, because I’m mental like that.

After that ordeal, all that was left was to go to lectures. I basically just followed people I hoped were my friends to different buildings and hoped for the best. It seemed to work – I was definitely in the right subject, but I didn’t have a clue what was going on.

I tried not to think about the fact I was basically chucking away £60 an hour. The lecturers could have been streaming PornHub through the projector, and the amount of education I’d have got would have been about the same.

Tuesday

On my way to lectures, I had to apologise profusely to an old friend from school, who understandably thought I’d tried to blank him by walking straight past him when he stopped to say hi. Sorry, Joe – uni hasn’t changed me that much.

After making it through the morning’s lectures, I decided to treat myself to the height of Newcastle’s culinary offerings. In doing so, I managed to utterly derail Eat 4 Less’ military style ordering process.

The staff were not happy at me for standing inches away from their counter, squinting up at their menu for ten minutes, without ordering anything. The words “Yes, please?” have never sounded quite so intimidating.

Wednesday

I decided I needed a new lid to match my glasses-less image. This really was a stupid decision. I sat quite happily through the process, making fairly sufficient small talk with my local racially insensitive barber.

Everything was going well, until the guy held up his mirror and asked what I thought. After an awkward minute of me squinting extremely obviously at my reflection, it became pretty clear to both of us that I didn’t have a clue what he’d done to my hair. I paid quickly and bumped into a couple of customers on my way out.

Thursday

Knowing the flat was planning a night out, I’d been dreading today. Since I’ve been at uni, I’ve gained a reputation for managing to lose the group in pretty much every club in Newcastle. This was with my glasses on – I had no idea what was going to happen.

After managing not to stray from the pack on the walk in to town, I was feeling pretty good about myself. Five minutes after entering the club, I was wondering if I was ever going to see my bed again.

Fortunately, I managed to stay calm, and only asked roughly half of my contacts where they where.

On the plus side, I did make a few new friends, who I’d mistaken for my mates. About an hour later, I finally met up with my lot, and had never been so happy to see them. We all staggered home- them blind-drunk, me just blind. 

Friday

I woke up late on Friday, head hurting from a hangover and constant squinting, and promptly decided to sack this off.

Although I’d gained a new appreciation for my spectacles, I was fed up of not being able to recognise any of my friends, find my way anywhere without a guide, or cross a road without putting my life in serious danger.

I said goodbye to the glasses-free maverick within me, and returned to my life as a quietly content four-eyes.