Revealed: How dirty is your takeaway?

Everyone loves a kebab at the end of the night. But after seeing some of these scores on the doors, will you be going back?

Counting down from 5, we look at some of Newcastle’s finest eating establishments and some of the scummy places that aren’t even fit for a dog.

As you might expect, all McDonald’s and the two Munchies take top spots in the takeaway league of hygiene. Whilst not the best takeaways in Toon, at least you can be pretty certain there won’t be a hair in your garlic sauce or your fries to be cold.

Munchies – but what exactly are you really munching on?!

Subway takes a 5, which shouldn’t surprise you given that they make your food whilst you can see them, and the fact that it’s not really that hard to make a sandwich (sorry ‘sandwich artists’).

Despite there appearing to be one on every street corner, there are only 10 Greggs in Newcastle, with all of them receiving a 5 apart from the West Denton one.

Honourable mentions: Salt N Pepper, Starbeck Fish Shop, Bigg Market Chippy, Dominos.

Scoring a 4 is good, but it also makes you wonder what they lost marks for. Did the cooks wash their hands? Was their ketchup out of date? Dixy Chicken takes home some respectable points, as well as Red Hot Chili and M & M’s Takeaway for all you Jesmondites. This takeaway would also win full marks if it was based on its artwork design. But it’s not.

4/5 for this lad isn’t bad, probably the highest he’s ever pulled on a night out

Additional mentions: Madinas Grill, Toon Sarnie, The Parmesan, Papa John’s.

Let’s be honest, a 3 is pretty disgusting. Unfortunately several popular feeding grounds received this rating, including Newgate Street’s finest such as Tasty Jacks (the one with sophisticated couches, bookcases, presumably books), and Yummies.

Suppose you could always take a cheeky nap on the sofa to make you feel better after eating it?

This is probably the last rating you can justify eating at when you’re drunk, any lower and you’re placing your well-being in someone else’s dirty hands.

Additional mentions: Get Stuffed, Pizza Uno, The Sandwich Co, Toon Takeaway, Walker Fisheries

At 2, you have to seriously wonder how these places are still in business. Major shock here as Jesmond Tandoori received this rating in January 2014… A couple of metres away the Double Diner received a 5, but it also gets a 10 for grease, so M & M’s is probably your best bet.

2 be or not 2 be? Jesmond Tandoori, we got you sussed

Benton chippy, beware…

Adding to this sorry list are Benton Chippy (what do you expect, it’s in Benton), Pizza Pizza, and too many Chillingham Road takeaways to name.

Flamin chippy? You’d have to be flaming twatted to eat here

If your local takeaway isn’t listed, you can find out what score they received and when here.

Disgusted by what you’ve read or found somewhere not listed? Let The Tab know in the comments below!