Streakers! And Rugby

The Newcastle 1st XV Rugby lost to a well-drilled Northumbria side on a bitterly cold night at Kingston Park in the finale of the Stan Calvert Cup.

The undeterred fans braved the snowy conditions to see Newcastle lift the Stan Calvert trophy for the sixth consecutive year, beating the Polys 78.75 to 64.25.

Northumbria held the upper hand in terms of field position throughout the match, and the early pressure soon showed as the Poly 10 threw a dummy and burst through the Newcastle defence for the opening score of the game. The conversion struck the upright, and minutes later another Northumbria attempt at goal was missed.

Neither sets of fans were dispirited by the freezing weather as “I go somewhere you don’t go, university” rang throughout the stadium, replied to by numerous renditions of “I would rather be a poly than a c**t”.

The rivalry soon intensified on the field, resulting in the match’s first, but not last, punches being thrown.

This sustained period of Northumbria pressure culminated in their second try when the Poly 12 rumbled over from short-range on a crash ball. With the successful conversion, the score stood at 12-0.

On the verge of half-time Newcastle made a rare venture into Northumbria’s half. A sublime offload from the Newcastle scrum-half to a rampaging prop provided the window for a score, and Newcastle would not be denied. The Newcastle 15 slotted the conversion, and the score stood at 12-7.

Cold babes

Hilarity ensued during the half-time break. The annual cheerleader confrontation was interrupted when Rory Lion took a 50 metre run-up down the side-line to deliver a huge tackle on the oblivious Poly Parrot.

A fierce mascot fight broke out, in which Rory Lion was shamefully unmasked. Tragic.

After the intervention of the stewards, Rory soon re-gathered his mask returned triumphantly to the Newcastle area, delighted with his skirmish into Northumbria territory.

A scrappy beginning to the second half ultimately saw Northumbria sink a penalty in front of the posts, followed by another from wide left: 18-7.

Shortly after, a fumble at midfield by Newcastle was fly-hacked on and chased down 40 metres for a third Northumbria try, widening the gap to 16 points.

Play was disturbed when two die hard Newcastle fans fell over one another onto the field in a naked heap.

Where’s Willy?

The streakers managed to elude authorities for an astoundingly long period of time, and even after the game the pair were spotted entertaining the exiting crowds with their nude antics. In such freezing conditions, it remains to be seen whether the duo sustained any lasting damage to their genitals.

During all this, Northumbria piled on yet another try, making the score a daunting 30-7. Newcastle continued to battle, and were eventually able to respond with a charge down and try to bring the score to 30-14.

The momentum, for perhaps the first time in the game, was now clearly with Uni; as shown by a scintillating burst from the Newcastle 6, who was later frustratingly held up over the line.

Unfortunately, the match soon descended into chaos as a 2 man scuffle quickly turned into a full-scale brawl involving seemingly every player. Both the Northumbria 1 and the Newcastle 14 were subsequently sin-binned.

The final whistle blew shortly after, to the delight of the Northumbria fans. Chants were vigorously exchanged, as they had been all day.

The Newcastle fans, quick to forget the rugby, now struck up the tune; “Stan Calvert champions”.

Championes…again

Watch the highlights here: