The 2021 Great British Bake Off contestants as Lincoln students
Gotta catch ’em all
Hot girl summer, step aside. It’s cute girl autumn now, and what better represents the changing of seasons than the return of good television? In particular, the Great British Bake Off has returned to our screens on Channel Four, the opening episode featuring judges, Paul Hollywood and Prue Leith, and presenters, Noel Fielding and Matt Lucas, performing their own cake-themed lip-sync of Achy Breaky Heart.
This is perhaps the peak of TV entertainment that can be aired before 9 pm, and the rest of the show was equally as bizarre and wonderful (and gave me serious cake envy).
As I began watching, my mind started thinking about how these eccentric and charming contestants reminded me so much of students I’ve seen wandering across the Lincoln campus, in the line for Quack, or the girls’ bathroom at Superbull. And so, naturally, I thought I would share these all-important observations with you, to see if you can find any Lizzies, Georges or Freyas while you’re at UoL too (hint: look for Tom quickly, he’ll be gone within the first month).
Without hesitation, Amanda is the mum friend. If you have an Amanda in your flat during your first year, cherish them. They will have the extra teabag when you run out and will dutifully take your make up off after every night out. Amanda’s confidence would come in hand at uni when queuing for King Kebab after stumbling out of Bull on a Friday night, and she would always be the one to ask for extra dips for the group.
Chigs, despite his shortcomings as a baker, does give me the impression that he would be the student who would go hard or go home to every student night. Definitely a business student. That’s right, from Monday through to Saturday, Chigs is the student you hear about from friends of friends, an urban legend in his own right.
If you ever spot a Chigs student yourself, they’re probably wearing sunglasses to hide the hangover, but the grin on their face tells you they have the best stories to tell from the night before. Sure, you’ll probably never meet him and he will desperately try and win the BNOC title but will fail, but he will go down as somewhat of an icon, for years to come.
Crystelle gives me, ‘that girl’ energy. Super put together, so pretty even when she has her hair tied back (if someone can teach us how to make low-ponytails look good, it’s Crystelle) and a genuinely friendly person. Crystelle would walk around campus in Gym Shark gear, probably between the library and PureGym most days.
She would definitely be a Superbull kind of girl, with the nicest outfits for every night out. But don’t worry, she will let you know where all of her purchases are from, and would probably send you the item code on Insta the next day. We can all aspire to be as cool as Crystelle.
Firstly, let’s congrats Freya on being the first vegan baker to make the bake off tent! Freya has freshers’ vibes; she would happily go with you to all of the events in Freshers’ Week and you would end up as best friends for life. She’d tell you all you need to know about dairy alternatives and would probably take up most of the kitchen space trying new recipes (and she would 100 per cent share them with you). She would be an advocate for change, and would definitely be a fan of the Lincoln cat café and the swans – although, who isn’t?
George is one of us. The every student, he is relatable, funny and in complete and utter confusion about everything. Me too, George. Students like George can be found in places like Trebles, trying to remember if they locked their front door while ordering shots for their table. They’re here for a good time, and somehow end up here for a long time too.
Everyone around them is amazed as they make it from one year to the next – as are they. I’m pretty sure we’ve all got a bit of George in us, and I think that’s just what makes us Lincoln students tick.
Cool, calm and collected, Giuseppe is the international student who has their shit together. This air of all-knowing may seem intimidating at first, but once you get them at a pres on a Friday night you’ll find that they’re super fun and easy to get on with (just don’t expect to understand how insanely complex their dissertation is).
Said to be experimental with his choice of flavours, I feel that Jairzeno, like Freya, could be found in your student kitchen, creating insane food – some being more successful than others.
Although his anti-gravity cake didn’t quite wow the judges, as a student Jairzeno would give everything 110 per cent, which includes (but is not limited to) terrible dance moves at Union.
Quiet but friendly, Jurgen would spend most of his time studying in the library, or in Towers whenever his friends wanted to watch the football. Jurgen students are similar to Giuseppe students, but lack charisma and extroverted tendencies, making for very intriguing people.
Jurgen gives me night owl vibes, and it wouldn’t surprise me if he was the flatmate you never got to meet until he comes out of his shell. He can be found pulling all-nighters to study, but don’t take this as a reason for him to be the person to take on nights out. He’d probably go to Dirty Mondays for the fun of it, but it would take a lot of persuasion to get him to Superbull and Quids in the same week.
With amazing hair, brutal honesty and the cake inner lip tattoo, Lizzie instantly appears to me as either an English student or a psychology student. She’s the kind of girl who would hype you up in the toilets at Quack, regardless of how ridiculous your theme night outfit looks, and she would add you on Snapchat before you have a chance to thank her for the last compliment she made.
From then on you’d probably continue to bump into her for the rest of the year, most likely in club toilets or the bar, where you’ll buy shots together and sing whatever cheesy hit is on because let’s be real, she will only be found listening to throwbacks and Girl in Red.
Is that… is that who you think it is? Maggie is probably someone you see from afar and, thinking it’s someone you know from your hometown, wave hello to. Only for them to awkwardly wave back and hurry on with their day.
Don’t worry, we’ve all been there, you’ll find Maggies all over campus, and for a second stare in disbelief thinking, “I didn’t think they were coming to Lincoln?” before once again realising that they are just someone who looks an awful lot like somebody else. And if you don’t find this person, then maybe you are a Maggie???
Wow, Rochica is literally so pretty it makes me tear up a little. As students go, Rochcica would be the helpful coursemate you meet in the first week and end up being a little bit of a best friend for life with as she helps you navigate your course. She would somehow have everything figured out pretty quick, and wouldn’t hesitate to help you find your classroom in the Alfred Tennyson Building, or search for your mates in the smoking area at Quack.
Ahh, Tom. You’ll probably see Toms during Freshers’ Week, and maybe one or two weeks after that, but then they will vanish out of thin air. “Where’s Tom?” you’ll say to your coursemates as you queue to get into Minerva. “Didn’t you hear? He dropped out”. Toms are fun and light-hearted people, who live on at uni in passing conversation as students reminisce on their first week.