Conversations we’ve legitimately had with taxi drivers in Leicester
tbh we all have a taxi driver story
Everyone has had to take a taxi at least once. They are, most of the time, super awkward. You initiate the recognised small talk, ask them about how their day has been and whether they’ve had a busy shift.
Sometimes though, you get a taxi driver who doesn’t follow the universal code of how to act when being transported by a complete stranger. But, what are the weirdest, wackiest and down-right awkward conversations people have had with taxi drivers in Leicester?
“I was in a taxi with an Asian driver. He noticed that I was also Asian and told me that Leicester is the only place where white people don’t tell him to turn off his Asian music. He said that they actually sing and dance along to it and it is the only reason why he puts up with drunk students.”
The Sex Addict
“I was on my way back from a gig in the city centre and we drove past Platinum Lace. I said something about how I was going to become a stripper so that I didn’t have to go to uni. He gave me a super long lecture about how corrupt strip clubs are. Apparently if I wanted to become a stripper, I’d have to do trial dances and would only receive 60% of my earnings.”
“I had a taxi driver try to convert me to Islam once. It’s nice to think that he was trying to save my soul.”
The Smell of Death
“I was in a taxi with my son when the driver asked if I wanted more children. I told him that it was something to think about in the future. He then told me that he’s the best looking taxi driver in the city, and that he’d be happy to help me make more kids.”
“A taxi driver once asked me if I had been to Turkey before. He had lived there before and asked if I wanted to go. I thought he was joking so laughed him off. He was being deadly serious. He then asked again, adding that he’d happily detour my journey to drop me off at the airport.”
“I got into this cab and the driver seemed pretty cool. He didn’t know where he was going so I had to spend most of the way telling him where to go. After about 10 minutes, he suddenly brought up the topic of porn. He was telling me about how he did research into the porn industry after listening to a radio show about it.”
The Long Way Home
“It was about 4:30am. Our taxi driver started blasting out Pitbull. My friend, Kory, was sat in the front and they were talking about how great Pitbull is. Kory was the first stop, the taxi driver let him off some change and even hugged him just before he got out.”
The Family Tradition
“I was on my way back from work at around 11pm. Me and the taxi driver had only exchanged niceties and then we fell into silence. Out of the blue, the guy gently punched me on the arm, bellowing ‘YELLOW CAR NO RETURN.’ He apologised straight after, telling me it was a family tradition to do it and that he completely forgot where he was. It’s one of my favourite memories from first year.”
“I was travelling from MOSH to my apartment after a night out. My taxi driver had silk pillows in the back for his customers to lounge on. I was pretty drunk and we were joking around when he offered me some crisps that were on his passenger seat. I would normally have refused but he had a massive box of those 10p Space Invaders.”
It’s fair to say that some of these taxi experience are much to be desired. If you do ever find yourself with a taxi driver who does not comply with the norms of small talk, then good luck to you.
On another note, can all taxi drivers please take note of the cutie who provided silk pillows and Space Invaders after a night out at MOSH.