We went to as many Roses events as physically possible: Part one

I know nothing about sports


Here’s the thing; I know literally nothing about sports. I was always picked last in P.E., I never made any sports teams, I was frequently told not to compete on Sports Day – it is a well known fact  that I am completely and utterly useless. I can watch the Olympics and still not have a clue as to what is going on.

I decided to take it upon myself to learn: to become educated in the mysterious ways of people who go and hit balls for fun. And what better weekend to do this than Roses weekend, when the entire campus seems to be out enjoying the sunshine (or so we hoped), dressed in shades of red?

The challenge: to go and see as many sports as is humanly possible in three days. Friends who are playing in matches have been drafted in to help explain things or hang out with me whilst I wander round getting increasingly more confused and lost (because yes, I hadn’t been to the Sports Centre since Freshers’ Week). Sports are being ranked by the vibes of the game themselves and the turnout of the crowd, as that makes a difference to the uninitiated.

Friday was a little trickier as I had to fit in classes around going to see sports, but I managed to get myself up nice and early and go and watch four different events.

Ultimate Frisbee (Men’s Outdoor)

From what I can gather, this was football with a Frisbee. I struggled to get the rules, but I figured out after a while that I think you score a goal by catching it in the box area, which is clever, and I think it changes possession if it touches the floor? The number of people cheering for the Fish was good though, I can get behind that, but the crowd was overall very small (though this might have been to do with the early morning match time!)
Crowd vibes: 2/5
Sport vibes: 4/5

Football (College Select)

See, I know something about this one. Kick a ball around, don’t get conked on the head. Lots of people seem to be falling over though, which looks painful, and I don’t think it was meant to happen. The teams were in white and grey, so I couldn’t tell which team is which, let alone which goal they were scoring in. There was a massive crowd, which I guess was nice, but it’s quite a violent sport in my opinion, what with all the tackling and falling over. I appreciated the seven-one win to Lancs though, that was a nice way to start my day.
Crowd vibes: 5/5
Sport vibes: 2/5

Lacrosse (Men’s 1sts)

Honestly, crowd vibes were on fire for this one. By this point, I had met up with my friends, we bought t-shirts and flags and it was great. From what we could tell, it was basically hockey with nets on sticks and high up in the air, and I have the utmost respect for the players because I couldn’t do that and catch those balls whilst running. They were also all wearing funky bike helmets which was cool. It was intense to watch but also really good fun, I really enjoyed it.
Crowd vibes: 5/5
Sport vibes: 5/5

American Football (Open)

First impressions was that it was very fight-y (you have to have a paramedic on hand, that’s intense). Kudos to them for even attempting to play a sport, because I wouldn’t have had the guts to try that. The crowd was very cool though, I’ve never seen that many people in campus in one place before. I literally have no idea how to play American Football, there seemed to be no discernible rules other than to fight each other for the ball. Can you kick? Can you throw? Can you do both? No one knew.
Crowd vibes: 5/5
Sport vibes: 3/5

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