12 things you wished you’d known when moving into accommodation

God bless whoever invented antibacterial wipes

Moving into a shared flat at the beginning of the first year of uni is genuinely terrifying because living with strangers is daunting af. Let’s not embellish this, but living with a bunch of randos who you’ve never met before, do not know who they are or where they came from is a challenge.

Here are 12 things you wished you’d known before you encountered a perpetually messy kitchen and 3am debates about political elections.

1. Pack a shower curtain and a bath mat

Bathrooms are so tiny in halls water gets fucking everywhere and walking out with wet feet when you’ve brushed your hair and matter hair sticking to the bottom of your feet is grim. Bringing a shower curtain to section off the sink and the toilet means less water and less steaming of the mirror because of the damp.

2. Bring antibacterial wipes

Kitchen surfaces can get manky in 0-100000 seconds and nobody wants to touch left over tuna pieces from a can that have been been left to go stinky after three weeks. Who comes to the rescue? Brand own antibacterial wipes which are a) cheap b) endlessly amazing and they don’t even run out of soap, even after washing all four surfaces.

3. Meal plans are actually worth your while

Organisation is a pain but yes, planning what you’re going to eat and when means you spend less on shopping for food you don’t need but also can mean you see a piece of fruit once in a while? Let’s banish the myth that students don’t eat fruit or veg at uni and just live on £1 pizza #bringbackfruit2k17

4. People aren’t gonna clean out the bins or clean the sink unless forced

Mum and Dad usually do this. Now you have to take responsibility for it and it’s really grim. Have bin liners at the ready because the cleaner probs won’t come as often as they say they do and so taking out the rotten eggs that make your flat smell is necessary. Also mouldy bread that’s been sat in Dave’s cupboard since Freshers’ Week will make an appearance halfway throughout the year needs to be chucked out asap (friendly reminder).

5. Intellectual debates after XOYO at 3am are 100 per cent a thing

Get ready to be political and stay up way after the night is over because the politics of Afghanistan and Iraq are ready to be discussed by the drunk and disorderly. Or even whether gay is a spectrum. Who knows.

6. Get used to the fact that before 12pm, nobody in your flat will wake up

Sleeping patterns fuck up, get used it. Yours will go through the roof as the drinking consumption follows and the amount of visits to the nearest 24hr Maccys also rockets. If nobody gets up before 12pm, don’t panic. And don’t wake them up either.

7. Passive-aggressive post it notes – are they a thing?

The mistake with writing most passive-aggressive post it notes is that they aren’t too effective but can get a message across easily. “GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF MY MILK” definitely shows anger, but will probably get thrown away. Remove post it notes for out of date milk if there is a milk stealer in your flat, could teach them a lesson or two.

8. Don’t fuck your flatmates

Simple. Just don’t shit where you eat.

9. Bring headphones for the extremely loud sex through thin walls, oh and close your curtains filthy buggers

Across accommodation halls, I’ve seen two people go at it for four mins (-5/10 for effort mate, no foreplay) because they didn’t close their blinds for their private moment. Who can look away at this, let’s be real?? And for those living next door, I send sympathy. Noise-cancelling headphones my friend, just don’t forget them.

10. Set up as many emails as you can for free ‘£10 off your orders’ with any food app and pay minimal for your takeout

I’ve paid £3.00 for four dishes of Chinese. Release your inner cheap skate and spend minimally, scamming all food delivery companies.

11. Balancing time between procrastinating in the kitchen and doing work takes time to figure out

Your flatmates are the first people you meet and you’ll naturally want to spend as much time with them as possible to get to know them, but don’t forget that work exists too. First year gets harder and even if your course doesn’t count it as credits (highly unlikely), doing work in the kitchen is useless when you’ve got memes available on the table.

12. You’re all in the same boat, if you’re nervous you’re not alone

We all have our ups and downs but ultimately, we’re in the same boat. It’s okay to not feel up to wanting to go out or if you just have too much work on, FOMO will go. As long as you make the most of what you’ve got and who you live with, you’ll have a fantastic time in halls and be ready to face the stinky kitchen together.