ATTENTION FRESHERS: Here’s a definitive ranking of Glasgow’s student nightclubs

Welcome freshers, international students, and all those new to Glasgow this September! Overwhelmed with the number of new bars and clubs in Glasgow that you don’t know about? Can’t work out what you should prioritise in Welcome Week? Don’t worry! I (a student) have compiled a handy list of Glasgow’s top nightclubs (for students) based on affordability, tunes, vibes, people, and a bonus score for overall convenience (queues/post-club kebab options/transport options/wait times).

Word of warning: this is entirely based on my experiences and as much as I’d like to believe my word is law, I don’t think it is.

Without further ado, here is that list.

9. Coming in dead last is The Garage

Other than being a half-decent gig venue, there is not much going for this place other than nightmare fuel.

• Affordability: 2/5
• Tunes: 1/5
• Vibes: 1/5
• People: 1/5
• Convenience: 3/5

Overall: 8/25

8. To many people’s disappointment, I’m sure, I have ranked HIVE second last

Overrated, overhyped, overly busy. Beer Bar is class – yes – but in the spirit of ranking nightclubs here I cannot take that into consideration. Apologies. Kind of.

• Affordability: 3/5
• Tunes: 1/5
• Vibes 1/5
• People: 2.5/5
• Convenience: 2/5

Overall: 9.5/25

7. The Sanctuary/Bamboo/Kokomo

If I’m being totally honest, I cannot tell these apart and could not tell you which one I was in at any given point even though I’m certain I’ve been to all three more than once. I have therefore grouped them together for a joint rating as I can’t really tell you much about any single one, but they deserved to be in the list.

• Affordability: 2/5
• Tunes: 2/5
• Vibes 2/5
• People: 2/5
• Convenience: 2/5

Overall: 10/25

6. Near the bottom of the pack is Rumor

I won’t deny I have had decent nights there, as with most on this list, but the spice boys mixed in with the usually pretty crappy music means I am not here for it.

• Affordability: 1.5/5
• Tunes: 2/5
• Vibes: 3/5
• People: 1.5/5
• Convenience: 3/5

Overall: 11/25

5. Manuka is fine

Nothing special IMHO – the lights are pretty and I’m here for that.

• Affordability: 2/5
• Tunes: 4/5
• Vibes: 3/5
• People: 2/5
• Convenience: 3/5

Overall: 14/25

4. Moving on up we got Cathouse

Is putting it higher than a lot of others on this list bold? Yes. Too bold? Maybe. I think it is worth a visit and I end up enjoying every night there if for something different and less Drake-y.

• Affordability: 3/5
• Tunes: 3/5
• Vibes: 4/5
• People: 2.5/5
• Convenience: 4/5

Overall: 16.5/25

3. Firewater will always hold a special place in my heart

Firewater Thursdays are something of beauty. Any place with 80p singles you will see me at. Sincerely, A Broke Student.

• Affordability: 5/5
• Tunes: 3/5
• Vibes: 3/5
• People: 2.5/5
• Convenience: 4/5

Overall: 17.5/25

2. Subbie, of course

The Sub Club is a Glasgow institution and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

• Affordability: 3/5
• Tunes: 4/5
• Vibes: 5/5
• People: 4/5
• Convenience: 4/5

Overall: 20/25

1. At number 1 is my one true love, La Cheetah

With a great bar upstairs and fab tunes, I just love her. No nonsense, no frills, no bad vibes. Always a class night.

• Affordability: 3/5
• Tunes: 4.5/5
• Vibes: 5/5
• People: 5/5
• Convenience: 4.5/5

Overall: 22/25

There you have it, my worst and best of the Glasgow student nightlife.

Do you have a different opinion? Something not on this list but should be? Let us know. Happy clubbing!

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