Here are all the Glasgow red flags on dating apps so you can avoid a disappointing date

If their name starts with a J, run away

2 months ago | UPDATED 2 months ago

If you’ve been on dating apps in Glasgow for a while, you’re probably familiar with the disappointment that comes from a bad date. But fear not, my dear single friend, for I have compiled a list of all the Glasgow red flags on dating apps so you can avoid those cringe-worthy moments.

From guys who pose with dead fish to girls who only post selfies with dog ears, we’ve got you covered. So sit back, relax, and get ready to swipe smarter, not harder.

Ladies, we have all been there… The sudden thought: “Why I don’t have a boyfriend??”, which is immediately followed by downloading a dating app. Either it ends in a few minutes of swiping and eventually, you desperately delete the app or a cringy date.

It’s time to start paying attention to the red flags. Read on for our list of Glasgow red flags on dating apps that all women should be aware of.

1. Picture with a dead fish

If you see the cover picture and it’s a picture with a dead fish, listen, immediately swipe left!! This man is not for you. This type of photo might indicate that the person is more interested in fishing than romance. If you’re not particularly fond of gutting fish or spending your weekends on a boat, it’s probably best to cast your net elsewhere. Swipe left and find someone who’s more interested in catching your heart than catching a fish. After all, there are plenty of other sea creatures in the dating pool.

2. Rugby players (GU or otherwise)

Let’s face it, we all get a little weak in the knees for those sporty, charismatic guys with the perfect dating app profile picture. But let’s not forget that there’s more to a person than just their abs and love for extreme sports. Sure, they might be great to look at, but when it comes to a real relationship, you want someone who is more than just a pretty face. So let’s all take a deep breath, swipe left on the superficial guys, and find someone who is worth more than just a few heart emojis.

3. Lies about his height

Let’s be real, nobody likes being catfished by a hobbit. Hate when they write in their bio “6’1” and then he shows up barely being 5’8. If height matters to you, ask for their social media and compare their height to their friends. It’s better to be safe than sorry, and you deserve someone who meets all of your standards, no matter how high they may be. As they say “meet his friends first to understand that you took the best one from the friends’ group”.

4. Has only his back pics on the profile

One in ten men on dating apps tends to be the “mystery man”. Keeping his face as a secret, while showing his back and dog on all of the pictures. You go on his social media and see nothing else but a beautiful sunset pic near the main building. You can try to FaceTime him before going on a date, but let’s be honest: Why are you hiding your face in the first place?? Telling us “I just like my privacy” is definitely not an excuse. Swiping left.

5. Puts a random unfunny meme instead of a face pic

We all love a good chuckle, but local comedians need to up their meme game. I mean, come on, if you’re going to post something, make it funny! It’s especially frustrating when the dating app profile features a hot guy, but the joke falls flat. Let’s give these comedians a friendly swipe to the left, so maybe then they would nudge to step up their game and deliver some original, side-splitting content.

6. Only puts pictures with friends

Oh boy, the game of online dating – it’s like a box of chocolates, you never know who you’re going to get stuck with. Will it be the one with the charming face, the one who looks like Jacob Elordi, or the one who looks like they could be a distant relative of Shrek? Of course, I’m just kidding about the last one (or am I?..). Do you put a picture with friends to look better than them? Do you hide so your cute friends could attract more girls? Show your face or I swipe left. Period.

7. Their name starts with ‘J’

Absolute classics. Not even sure if I need to explain.

Remember, folks, when it comes to dating apps in Glasgow, always trust your gut and swipe left on those red flags. And if you’re feeling discouraged, just remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but not all of them are worth catching. And who knows, maybe one day you’ll find your perfect match, even if their name starts with a “J”! So keep swiping and stay safe!!