‘Uni Camping’: The Tab tries it rough

The Tab’s search for the best places to sleep rough on campus


Picture the scene: you’ve finally staggered home at 4am, your housemates having stumbled off into the night with some strumpets leaving you high and dry…. And, you just remembered, keyless.

No one’s answering your pitiful calls for help, you’re far too mortal to find a mate’s house, and you’re a bit scared of breaking in just in case you get caught. The only option left is to rough it.

The Tab very nearly had to face up to this situation had we not been saved by someone looking for rolling tobacco at 4am, and someone doing the walk of shame (finally, something positive to say about loose sexual morals and nicotine addiction).

With so much drinking and key losing that seems to go on around here, the above scenario could well happen to anyone. So The Tab sent the next best thing to Bear Grylls they could find (who didn’t go home for reading week) out on a mission to find the warmest, safest, most comfortable places to kip on campus.

Sleeping alone in a city can be a scary and dangerous experience, so listen up little grasshopper, the following might actually be useful one day.

1) The Taly South bike sheds

Journalism: mightiest of professions

Journalism: mightiest of professions

Pros: Covered roof, plenty of space, probably the warmest place we tried

Cons: Will probably run afoul of campus security, or someone who wants to get their bike

2) Cardiff Business School

Did you know they pay us with curry?

Did you know they pay us with curry?

Pros: Secluded, secure, nice shrubbery

Cons: No cover, you can’t see it but I’m soaking wet

3) Any of these skips with mattresses (there’s actually quite a lot of them)

Really?

Really?

Pros: Mattress

Cons: Its in a skip, so its probably covered in bodily fluids

4) Under the ASSL entrance bridge

The ancients once told tales of monsters under bridges, nowadays they're undergrads

The ancients once told tales of monsters under bridges, nowadays they’re undergrads

Pros: Next to the library so you can go straight to work, also the humanities cafe is near (breakfast)

Cons: Gravel in your arse, my jacket is now filthy

5) One of these houses on Park Place, you know, just opposite the Law and Psychology buildings

'Who dares enter my den?'

‘Who dares enter my den?’

Pros: Easiest to find

Cons: Crap views