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Sussex’s Most Eligible Bachelor Nominee: Tom King

‘I’m bloody hilarious’


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Hi ladies, let me introduce myself: I'm Tom King, second year Politics and International Relations student. Sit on my face and ride the next prime minister. I'm just your typical Sussex student, sleeping all day drinking all night.

I spend most nights at the Haunt, so catch me there and I'll probably be sipping on my fifth spiced rum and coke, absolutely trashed and most definitely won't remember you the next day. I used to have the very unpopular nickname Chunder King because I couldn't hack my drink, but don't worry, I've learned my lesson.

In my friend group I'm generally considered as the unfunny one although I think I'm bloody hilarious.

But I've also got a romantic side, as I've been playing the piano for a while and they now call me Stevie Wonder with sight. So if you wanna be my girl I might play something for you. Alternatively, if you like Indian cuisine, I'll invite you over for dinner and cook up a mean curry goat. If you wanna make me happy in return, I get really turned on by neck kisses when I'm playing fifa.

I'm looking for that perfect lady, preferably a brunette, with a fat ass and of course she has to be intelligent as well. Also she has to have banter, otherwise she can get in the bin. I hate tight people, so if you wanna be a negative nancy please stay away.

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Favourite thing about yourself: The size of my dumps

Pet peeve: The fact tha people use the term pet peeve. What does it even mean? Just ask me what I hate

Pineapple on pizza: Couldn't give a fuck, usually go for something spicy like my ladies

Ideal date: Eating some Michelin star food, cockatils and then a nap

What's the most attractive quality a girl can possess: I'm an ass man to be honest, so a nice ass makes all the difference

Favourite sex position: Cowgirl. Ride me like the pony daddy never got you

Nominate your friends here.