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All the things that will happen on every Flares night out

Tick off the checklist


Flares is the place we all love to hate. Is it your go-to night out in Newcastle? Or a last resort?

Whether you are old, young, in a society, or just there for a good time, there is a few things that you will definitely encounter in The Toon's cheesiest nightclub.

1. Seeing SO many socials

You’ll spot them from a mile off: white t -shirts with neon paint, checked shirts and a cowboy hat or maybe a school uniform. There seems to be hundreds of them, and they all congregate in Flares. They’ll definitely be stood on the top floor chanting some sort of obnoxious phrase.

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2. Converting that one friend that claims they hate Flares

There’s always someone that, 'only listens to techno' or 'finds the music too cringey'. They’ll refuse to go, unless you’re buying the VK's, or everywhere else is completely full. The coloured floor and disco lights must do something to the brain, because once they in, they’ll never want to leave. Of course, they’ll deny liking it the morning after.

3. Reliving your 2000s childhood

It’s kind of like a 2008 school disco, especially when the Macarena plays, and everyone methodically bashes out the moves. Poker Face will definitely bring back some memories, and when JLS comes on, you’ll remind everyone that you went to see them when you were nine. Yeah the playlist is predictable, but three jaegers later and you wont even notice.

4. Hearing Country Roads

Two words: 'Almost Heaven', and you run for cover. Within seconds, every guy in the room will have his top off, and is swinging it violently above his head. The Flares version genuinely seems to last about twenty minutes, and you’ll be traumatised afterwards. It's honestly a scary experience.

5. Taking an embarrassing pic in photobooth

You’ll wake up with a crumpled photo in your bag, and pray it’s cute. Chances are, everyone will have their eyes closed, and you’re pouting like your life depends on it. It’s perfect décor for your student living room though.

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6. Having a boogie on the pole

Sober you would NEVER dream of pole dancing. But two songs in, and you’ll be queuing to have a go. There’ll be one guy who will try to climb up it, and someone else who’ll fall off the stage when they twerk too aggressively. There’s also a chance you’ll catch your reflection in the mirror and want to cry. You’ll probably wake up the next morning, and see yourself on six different Snapchat stories. Not ideal.

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7. Seeing lots of the over 40 crowd

Cheesy 80s music and 70s inspired décor: what more do middle-aged club goers want. The average age of people at Flares is lot older than MSA and Swingers. At the weekend, you’ll see at least three hen parties, and end up dancing with a group who are out for their friend’s 45th Birthday.

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8. Pres at Flares turning into a whole night

"We’ll just go to Flares for a bit, then we’ll head somewhere after.” We’ve all said it. But free entry, cheap drinks and catchy tunes means you forget about leaving.

Everywhere else will be mad expensive. We may as well just go to Flares.

Photo credits: Flares Newcastle (IAMVIP)