All the mistakes you’ll make as a fresher in the Toon

Don’t shit where you eat


Spending all your money on Munchies

It’s 1am, you’ve somehow ended up in Floho again and Come on Eileen’s blaring through the room, but all you can think about is what you’re going to order from Munchies on the way home. You know you shouldn’t be getting anything, you’re already deep into your overdraft and adding on the pounds day by day but what’s better than walking back to your flat scranning on some cheesy chips and gravy?!

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Getting fucked on Sinners’ trebs

Three trebles for a fiver sounds amazing on paper but in reality it’s not the most ideal situation when next minute you’re swinging round the pole on the stage thinking you’re Beyonce. Nine shots of vodka is an obvious recipe for disaster but you’ll always find yourself at that bar on the top floor over and over again.

You’ll lose your ID and passport multiple times

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…and promise your flatmates you will never put them through that again. Losing your ID is bad enough when you have to fork out £30 to get a new one but then going out whilst you’re waiting for it to arrive is definitely the worst bit! Begging the Soho bouncers to let you in isn’t one of your finest moments but after all, you are there every night and they must recognise you by now. Don’t forget to post on Leazes Exchange mourning your loss, just to make sure everyone knows you go out…

Sleeping with your flatmate

Everyone tells you not to do it and you always said you wouldn’t, ‘they’re not even fit anyway’. However, mixing alcohol with the temptation of knowing you shouldn’t do something is never likely to end well. After the first time, you convince yourself it will never happen again, until the next time, and so it continues.

You’ll buy a Freshers’ wristband and never go

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The panic sets in a week before Freshers' Week when you don’t know what’s going on and you have no plans and so you splash out on a £75 wristband and then don’t even turn up to any of the events. But after all, the 200 others in your new accommodation group chat were buying it too so it must be the best one.

Picking your housemates for second year after two days of knowing them

Newcastle students are known for signing for houses ridiculously early, with some freshers falling into the October trap. You spend three weeks getting smashed every night with your new best mates and decide there is no one else you would ever want to spend the next two years with. Rookie rookie error when it gets to February and the two that were shagging have fallen out, someone else has quit uni and you rarely even see one of them anymore.

Believing the many reps and going to ‘the best club in Newcastle’

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When you first get to uni you’re a bit clueless as to where to go and what to do, so when some random guy from the SU comes to your flat on your first Saturday night and tells you to go to Digi you have no reason to doubt him too much. Digi on a Saturday; stupid, but forgivable. Paying £10 for queue jump entry; unacceptable.

Photo credit: Aaron Shaquille Carlton (Swingers)

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