I got the spiciest GoBurrito on campus and honestly, I’m built different

Even the name ‘Santiago’s Revenge’ won’t scare me off

Not that this is a particularly exciting fact for anyone else, but I don’t usually eat burritos. However, I decided that there was no better day to try the world’s spiciest burrito* than the day before a 9 am.

With trepidation, I approached the counter. It was mostly because I (still) have no idea how you order a burrito and, to be honest, it feels like a lot of pressure… and also I didn’t know you could get chorizo in a burrito – is that really a good choice? All of these facts hit me at once as I stepped up slowly to place my order.

As we went through each of the options, I could sense the guy taking my order getting more and more confused – starting with me asking for extra jalapeños way too early into the process, and finally understanding where my order was going by the end when I ordered the spiciest sauce to boot.

To make sure you’re aware of how much of a mistake you’re about to make, they call this sauce “Santiago’s Revenge”, which I thought was a nice touch. I then made the bold choice to confuse the guy making my order even further, by saying I was writing an article about trying the spiciest GoBurrito burrito, which I’m sure made his day much better.

I had been wondering, the whole time, if my new and growing love of Korean Samyang fire noodles had gently burnt away my spice tastebuds and I was really banking that it had.

Saying that, this is where it really gets anti-climatic. I really had lost the ability to taste any spice not at the level of extreme physical pain, so when I bit into the burrito I was massively underwhelmed. It was like, medium spicy, at best. Towards the end I felt a bit less comfortable, but as an overall experience I would be more than happy to do it again (although I’m sure my intestines are less of a fan of the experience as a whole).

If you’re from Bowland, I would strongly advise staying away from this burrito – mostly because of the way you are as people (I’m kidding, I promise). Also, if you respect your internal organs and how they digest, I would say eating spicy food for no reason is definitely best avoided. As a medical student myself, obviously I follow none of my own advice and that’s why I get to ruin my body with full knowledge of the consequences.

To conclude, I would recommend trying this to see how not built different you are – you never know, you might have a soul destroying experience and render this entire article completely untrue. It could also be funny to buy one for your friend and not tell them about “Santiago’s Revenge” and see how they fare, but don’t tell anyone that idea came from me.

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