We asked Lancs students what their worst drunk texts are and we’re embarrassed for them
Drunk words are sober thoughts, baby
Most of us have been drunk at one point or another. Everyone has their excuses: a celebration for handing in that essay you stayed up all night to complete, a boozy themed social that you just can’t miss because you just so happen to have the perfect costume idea, or just because it’s been a long week and you deserve it.
There comes a moment when your world starts spinning and a cheap VK becomes quite literally the best thing you’ve ever tasted. Before long, your phone is in between your fingers but instead of filming the ducks in Alex Square, you stumble onto your messages…
You decide to text your ex, parents, mates, or anyone you feel the need to proclaim your love to. It’s a cycle we all go through so no need to feel ashamed. Oh, the things we do when we’ve had too much to drink the night before!
Ollie – second year
Ollie said that she once sent a text to her mum saying: “you wore me out last night.”
We know living at home can be hard but this is ballsy. There is such a thing as a close mother-daughter relationship but this could be crossing the line. As funny as this is, it probably wasn’t worth all of the explaining and maybe a stern phone call or two.
Lauren – third year
Lauren said that she once sent a text to her group chat saying: “I’VE SHAT MYSELF!!!!”
How delightful and straight to the point. It creates an image in the mind that is perhaps too vivid. The enthusiasm in the message is quite confusing and worrying, it portrays a multitude of emotions: excitement, relief, anger, disappointment, shock and embarrassment. If it was sent to a group chat it must’ve been saved by your mates so that they could torment you with it the next day.
Bec – third year
Bec said that she once messaged Sultan’s after a house party when she didn’t want to get a taxi back.
Sultans: The epicentre of Lancaster uni campus and a support system for students when we need them. Their jobs are not limited to providing the best cheesy curly fires on campus – they also give lifts to students at two am.
After being met with the age-old greeting of “hello friend”, we stumble through the doors after our weekly dose of Sugar Wednesdays. With free poppadoms and water always on offer to help sober us up, it seems likely that Sal would’ve given you a lift and we love him for that.
Ben – fourth year
Ben said that he once sent a text to his ex-wife saying: “you up?” while she was at Glow.
A pattern is beginning to form with the “you up?” texts. Many of us have received one from a random rugby lad who we don’t even remember meeting. Drunk messaging an ex is not unusual either. But when it comes to an ex-wife, that is one can of worms that should never be opened. If you receive an “I miss you too” text as a response to a message that you don’t remember sending, things could go downhill very quickly.
Alice – first year
Alice said that she once sent a text to her flat group chat saying: “love u all sooooooooo much!!!! Xxxxxxxxxx” with an additional two lines of random emojis.
This isn’t embarrassing, it’s quite cute. We all need to express our love for our mates from time to time. There are two types of people in this world, those who use emojis and those who don’t. We think that the “two lines of emojis” really accentuates the love you have for your mates.
Lucy – second year
Lucy said that she once posted: “Where are youuuvvvv” on Snapchat when she lost her mates in Sugar.
“Vvvv” could potentially become a thing. The fact that this was sent as a picture on Snapchat is hilarious and the red background creates a very ominous vibe. Everyone should definitely be using “vvvvv” to describe our drunken state next time.
Harry – third year
Harry sent a message to his gran saying: “i MiS you, Hop ure weLL!!!!!”
Bless, I feel sorry for your nan trying to decipher this. I bet it took her all night (after Corrie finished of course) to try and understand it. To be honest, most nans and grans don’t understand text speak anyway so this will just look like a thing that “the kids” do. The amount of exclamation marks in this expresses how much you miss your nan, something that we can all relate to.
Alex said that he once double texted himself after a night out.
This takes talking to yourself to a whole new level. Calling yourself “mate” and actually responding to yourself is a bit worrying. Did the person this was supposed to be sent to got home okay? Are they still in Sugarhouse alley now? Did they grab a Sultans once back on campus? Have they had any deep conversations with the ducks?
Victoria- second year
Victoria “doesn’t even remember” sending this message to her group chat.
Being drunk at nine pm is something more of us can relate to than we’d like to admit, especially with having to start pres at five o’clock due to the new curfew. But who is Peter? Is everything going well? Tell us everything, “we wanna know!”
Lauren- second year
Lauren made the drunk decision to express her love for cheese toasties in her group chat.
There are no uni students who don’t like cheese toasties, so you are speaking the minds of the people here. Yes to “chees tower”, yes to help “cheese toaster.” Yes yes yes.
They say that drunk words are sober thoughts so that explains a lot.