Lonnie Lonnie Lonnie: Why Lonsdale is simply the best

We’re fitter and more fun than you


Lonsdale is so widely accepted as the king of all colleges it seems insane to even need to outline while we’re “simply the best”.

We’re a peaceful, egalitarian people.

We don’t indulge in any of the posh vs ghetto rubbish – everyone is equal in Lonsdale’s modern accommodation.

As the party college on campus we accept the wildest people into our bosom, or transform people into hardcore sessioners.

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Lonsdale quad is unreal. With everyone in a close community, inevitably the gossip is endless and everyone chats constantly.

In summer (if it ever stops raining) our lovely green space is perfect for playing footie, having a barbeque, chatting, or studying – once you’ve accepted you’re never ever going to get a seat in the library.

Within the college itself we have friendly competition between each house which provides more of a family atmosphere (even if a tad incestuous). House 43 being the reigning champion of the ice cube game.

If you’re outside Lonsdale you probably don’t even get that reference do you? You fool.

Quad

Since we are out in the sticks, we are inevitably the fittest college, getting to lectures actually involves exercise instead of just rolling out of bed.

As well as looking the best, it means we have a balance between work and home unlike more central colleges which have no escape.

Seeing the hills and countryside from your window everyday isn’t too bad either. It reminds us that Lancaster is lush and that there is a world outside the uni bubble.

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Everyone who hasn’t been living on another planet (even including our browbeaten neighbours Cartmel), knows what we think of Bowland: “shit”.

Thus we have the best and oldest rivalry on campus with the insults increasing as we draw closer to Founders. Hoping to repeat last years’ victory, our sports teams are ready for the “challenge” (in the loosest of senses) of beating Bowland.

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Who needs ducks when you have the Red Lion?

The legendary Lonnie bar undoubtedly has the best bar staff on campus including the one and only Andy Shaw. Also playing host to various themed nights (we recently even had shisha – be jel) and Pub to Club deals, the Red Lion ensures that we live up to the sessioner status.

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Aside from partying, there is loads of talent to be found from Lonsdalians. We don’t just have the fittest people – although did we mention we have fit people – we also have top DJ’s like Sutton and Escamez.

Although we may be far away, we’re close to people’s hearts.

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