An ode to girls who dress slutty on Halloween

We’re on our knees and it’s not to beg for candy


In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it.


This is not a time to take the piss. There is no judgement here, just praise for all the slutty Halloween girls who take the time out to do the things we do.

Those skimpy outfits take a bloody age to put on, squeezing ourselves in limb by limb, breast by breast, wedging ourselves into those latex body suits just to bring a little spice to the night.

We should be applauded for our time spent with our leg on the sink shaving every last hair, putting on the heaviest eye lashes and fake tanning in places literally impossible to reach.

And I mean impossible.

Our ability to step out of the house in seven-inch-heels without a coat is a commendable achievement, particularly in the middle of autumn, in the middle of Wales.

We know it will rain but we’ve straightened our hair anyway. We know we’ll have to wait in the club queue but we’ve worn that corset anyway. Our bravery is admirable, and frankly I would like a medal.

All this effort begs the question – why are slutty outfits frowned upon?

We look banging and the energy we exerted to look this good should not be scowled at.

Jealousy is a terrible thing, especially when most paint their face, back comb their hair and become a walking fire safety hazard from all the baggy, unfitting polyester.

Who wants to be an ugly pumpkin when you can be fucking hot? If I want to go out dressed as a slutty zombie cheerleader I bloody well will.

To all those slutty rabbits, sexy cops and Where’s Wally whores, we salute you.