A girl’s undergrad view of Aberdeen

What does it mean to be a female undergraduate in Aberdeen? Well, that depends who you ask.

To the rugby club on a Wednesday night in Institute it means you’re fair game, to some Edinburgh students it may mean you have an unrivaled capacity to down a drink, and to many lecturers it means you’re a name on a piece of paper and a no-show throughout most of first and second year.

My guess is, you’ll spend most of your money on pizza in first year, and then discover Grub for your final three and, because of this, every New Year your resolution will be to kick the “Freshers’ 15” that you just can’t shift, and about once a month you and your girlfriends will look back at photos of yourselves when you were sixteen, bemoaning the fact you took your skinniness for granted.

You’ll realize fairly quickly that there’s a serious lack of male talent in Aberdeen, and then you’ll realize that those rare beautiful men fine well know it – and don’t put in the effort in the sack.

Us women undergraduates in the not so fair city of Aberdeen also develop a phenomenal ability to brave the freezing streets in winter wearing just a small dress, and a very positive attitude that allows us to thank the 5 inches of high heels that keep us elevated above the snow.

It only takes a few weeks over exam time to realize that the library is not actually a place to study, but a cavernous open area to spy anyone you know in order to procrastinate and avoid the horror that is revising in your twenties.

Eventually, you won’t even make it to the elevators and instead spend whole days sitting in the café with a closed book in front of you.

If you’re lucky, the glorious ASV may indeed inspire you to become a gym bunny, but for the first two months you’ll be desperately intimidated by the rock-hard goddesses that go there daily.

You’ll also see the only men in Aberdeen with decent bodies on a daily basis but, unfortunately, the time will come when you can no longer justify sweating of a full face of make-up once a day- that shit’s expensive in Aberdeen.

You might even come out with a half-decent degree from this reputable uni at some point – and walk into a well-paying job in a glorious oil firm.

And no matter what, at least you’re not one of those Fashion grads from RGU.