We Demand the Right to Party

Cärlchen Jupp attacks CUSU's decision not to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

Sometimes, you forget just how completely out of touch student politicos are.

Then, suddenly, it slaps you in the face like a big wet fish; a fair-trade, politically correct fish, mind.

Last night, I had the audacity of taking a motion to what is laughingly called the Council of our student union, to suggest that we had some celebrations for the Jubilee year. It’s a diamond, remember – something that comes round after sixty years of a reign – and even given the advances of modern science, it’s unlikely that the organic-obsessed Prince Charles will rack up that long. So, it’s quite special, and it’s quite unusual, and pretty much everywhere else in the country is doing something.

Despite this, our beloved representatives (most of whom seem to represent Marx, rather than normal people) have decided on your behalf: the students of this university are making it a celebration-free zone. Don’t get me wrong, some of the council attendees are fine; the ones elected as JCR Presidents and so on seem pretty chilled, and get bored by the usual crap that is proposed by the local idiots. It’s the rest who come and wreak their havoc of weirdness on the rest of us that are the problem.

The Queen is due to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee on 5th June

Last night, I was told, quite forcefully by these prats, that celebrating the jubilee is elitist and against access and accessibility; and more ridiculously, their major argument seemed to be that the Daily Mail wouldn’t like us if we did it. Christ, that’s definitely something to base our decisions on, isn’t it? Whilst we’re at it, we should burn the gays and take away universal suffrage; oh no, hang on, that would be completely idiotic. Like many of our ‘representatives’…

Leaving aside the fact that our CUSU President has already attended the palace to celebrate the Jubilee, let’s just consider their ludicrous suggestions for a moment. Given that most of the country is celebrating the Jubilee, across all different kind of boundaries, their ideals to avoid elitism seem a bit stupid if they’re based on opposing what everyone else is doing.

The monarchy, whether you agree with it or not, seems to be pretty popular, and even most republicans would agree that celebrating a national event involving our head of state is a good idea. But not the puritan bores that think the best way to spend a Friday evening is to compete in the ‘dullard of the year’ competition at CUSU.

No – it would offend international students, of course; although I can’t imagine being offended if I were abroad and they celebrated a national event. No – it’s against access, because our intake all come from republican homes, obviously. No – it’s inaccessible; I don’t even know what that means in this context!

The fact is, they’re just a bunch of misery invoking, self-righteous, vanguard-of-the-proletariat, politically-correct obsessives who think they are saving the world.

My advice? Get a life, and get real. If you don’t want a party, then piss off. The rest of us do.

CORRECTED 5.56 PM, April 30th: The parenthesis in paragraph 6 ‘(and yet voted against the idea last night)’ was incorrect. It has been removed.

  • Armchair Critic

    I'm an international student of an ethnic minority, I wouldn't be offended by this celebration.

    I wish the white, privileged left-wing would stop talking on my behalf.

    • hmm

      Bit rich for an international student to be chatting about people being 'privileged' when most internationals are paying around £20,000 a year to be here

      • Dong

        Because someone is well-off they aren't allowed to call someone else privileged? Again, retarded leftwingism.
        Your statement is also unfounded, many overseas students are funded by grants from their home countries.

        • Karl Marx

          Please explain how that comment in any way reflected a left-wing viewpoint? It was a statement of what he/she considered to be fact. Labelling people according to a stupid, vaguely defined dichotomy is far more retarded.

  • Chill

    Bro, just have your own party? CUSU would throw a sh*t party anyway.

  • Robert Aske


    • Greatjon


      • Robert Aske


    • Shit

      Are the Girtonites coming to get us?

    • Bored Stark

      Jubilee is coming

  • Bigger issue

    It's in the middle of exam week(s)

    • Not for everyone

      And I'm sure that it would be easy to find somewhere that wouldn't disrupt the celebrations. In any case, this article is not so much about CUSU not throwing a party in this case, more about how they are total gimps.

    • Engineer

      no its not

  • agreed but…

    We all know cusu is full of morons. Old news, sadly.

  • TPJ

    Even I want to party

    • Trenton Oldfield

      Pool party?

      • Fenton

        Deer park party?

  • Juan Sheet

    As long as St Mary's doesn't RING THE FUCKING BELLS ALL DAY AGAIN.

    • Live opposite.

      Well said. There's only so much change ringing one can take before going completely mad.

  • Mrs Windsor

    Thanks kids, I'll be letting my hair down anyway even if you're not allowed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejRJXR92B7g

    • Wow

      This video is amazing.

  • I would love it if

    The Daily Mail wrote an article on this…

  • Want a party?

    Then come down to the Butterfield Karaoke Bar.

    • where dreams…

      become memories!


  • Sneaky party man

    Easy workaround: Instead of calling it a Jubilee party, call it a protest against whatever the fad it at that moment – the CUSU will vote yes within seconds. Invite everyone, turn up with party hats and cake and BAM, you have your party.

    But in all honesty, the CUSU council are prats. Total prats.

    • You have agency

      CUSU Council is just JCR Presidents. Vote somebody else for JCR President if you think they're prats!

      • not true

        Er, no. JCR presidents are on the council, but so are external officers, faculty reps, arts/humanities/science reps, etc. etc. True they're all elected roles, but many of them run uncontested.

        • alumni

          errr, why not contest these positions?

          • because

            I'm actually here to do a degree

            • Balanced lifestyle

              Because Cambridge students are unknown to do anything other than work for their degrees? Certainly explains the lack of sport/theatre/everything else we have going on here…

  • Matty McBroide

    This boy's right like, I'm from the back end of the Shankill and even they'd throw a wee swal partaaay for old Liz.

  • Bunting at the ready

    Is the the students union, the Union, doing anything?

  • Ex-Bellite

    I was there, and pretty much everyone else there was a JCR President… Given that the meeting voted against supporting Owen Holland's appeal, they didn't seem very 'vanguard-of-the-proletariat obsessive'.

    I thought the Access argument was that it would be portrayed in the Daily Mail as 'No austerity for arrogant toffs' and thus Access would be fucked.

    And no one said that people couldn't have a celebration: just that CUSU wouldn't organise a celebration.

    And on the international students question – given that we had Irish, Scottish, and International students saying that they were offended, it seems like they were offended…

    This article makes me sad, because normally Charlie's articles are good with facts arguing against polemics saying 'we should hit David Willetts in the face with a massive axe', but now he's doing a ranty polemic that ignores the facts.

    • Seriously?!

      Seriously? A couple of Irish and Scottish students saying they were offended by the idea of a party to celebrate the Jubilee?! I hope that the CUSU will not take part in any further protests because I am offended by that protest.

      Logic dictates that anyone who doesn't like the idea of the monarchy can decide NOT to attend, it's very simple. They can have their own anti-monarchy party somewhere else.

      • Gerard

        Though I know many students did have strong feelings about it, I think the vast majority of the debate was essentially having a laugh (which is too-often absent from CUSU Council sometimes). I may have invoked my Irish republican roots as a joke, but I'll be celebrating the Jubilee as much as the next guy.

        Seriously, I may be many things but I'm not a gimp (hat-tip to the comment above), and I know a lose-lose when I see it:

        The vote passes – I guarantee you we'd have had a Daily Mail article within a week replete with ill-judged May Ball or Bullington-esque picture and an uninformed sixth form teacher commenting "See, I knew Cambridge wasn't for the likes of mine." Not fair, but nothing is.

        The vote falls – this happens, and once again CUSU is portrayed as being entirely useless and out of touch when in fact, I thought we were being pretty darn reasonable.

        Much as I love earning my salary by dealing with Daily Mail journalists, this one was asking for it. And no, Charlie, I didn't vote against it actually – just mentioned this salient point in my speech.

        CUSU's policy is considerably more centrist and even, gosh, right-wing than many give it credit for (63-2 vote condemning the actions of CDE, anyone?). I'd encourage you to come along to Council some time and see for yourself.

        • Or…

          The Daily Mail may write an article accusing us of being humourless leftys and republicans who are totally out of touch because we pander to the opinions of "foreigners"

          I doubt it'll happen but it smacks of downright cowardice that CUSU policy is governed by what they're worried people will say than by what they think is right.

          P.S. Incidentally I work in an office with a predominantly foreign work force and they fucking love the Jubilee. I wouldn't, like one of the previous commentators, take that as representive of the entire working population.

          • Gordon Brown


            I know it might be easy for Tab commentators to ask "fuck it why don't you just stop being so humourless?", but decisions like this do need careful consideration, and the image we make for ourselves in the national media does matter.

            When you have journos hassling anyone and everyone for your phone number so they can call you, twist your statement and turn it into "a scandal", you'll understand. The Tab is as guilty of it as the Mail.

            • cusupawns

              So now the Daily Mail defines the policy of CUSU? Anyone who is thick enough to believe the Mail probably won't be able to apply to Cambridge anyway.

              • Hey

                Hey, I just wanted to say that bearing something in mind when making policy doesn't mean that said considerations define the policy. If it was so easy to not be fucked over in the press, we wouldn't have it happen to us quite so much. Hope this helps!

        • R. Maller

          Gerard you are such a creepy little tosspot. Wtf kind of sickening scoop of weasel-turd crows about making a representative student body more right-wing and how a debate you had in a space you’re paid to facilitate was used for you to make a ‘joke’ about your Irishness. You are the epitome of a pathetic scourge on student time and money.

        • Realist

          What, so you think the Daily Mail hates the Queen, the royalty and the Jubilee? Seriously there is no way the Mail will condemn a jubilee party, they love that sort of old-fashioned Little Britain stuff.

    • UNITED Kingdom

      Irish, Scots, or Canadian, Australian, etc etc – She's their Queen as well.

      • England

        I am English, but don't find it offensive she is actually Welsh and continental by blood.

  • Oh, come off it

    CUSU Council simply took a decision not to write a letter to the Queen on behalf of the Union, not to add CUSU's 'voice to that of the University in their celebration of the Diamond Jubilee', and not to precede the next Council with two verses of the national anthem.

    This decision does not make Cambridge a "celebration-free zone" at the Jubilee, nor was anyone arguing that the members of the University should not celebrate this event. Anyone at all is free, nay, encouraged, to organise community events to bring people together and enjoy themselves as a break in exam term. If a group of friends, a society or a college JCR want to do that, then they can go right ahead. CUSU does not have and (to my knowledge) does not wish to have the power to stop them.

    Those at CUSU Council simply argued that publicly organising a jubilee celebration was not an appropriate activity for a Union of 20,000 students, all of whom have their own different opinions on the monarchy. And yes, people did argue that the PR would be bad for the Union's stated commitment to access and equality, because it would be.

    Charlie, your wit and love of performance do liven up CUSU Council at times and make it a bit more interesting, but on Friday night you were just taking the piss in a way that was actually infuriating. All this unnecessary motion did was deprive 30 people of their time on a Friday night. To add insult to injury you've now called these people (whose time you stole) "prats", for having the public service motivations to attend an awkwardly-timed meeting to conduct the essential of business of an organisation which provides their fellow students with important services for representation, support, advocacy, welfare and access.

    Surely, you have to admit you're a little out of line here.

    • In consideration.

      Hey look. A reply that has facts. Can we please get this to the top of the page so there's a real rebuttal?

    • Oh well,

      At least they were paid for that stolen time

    • Comment Judge


      • you


    • Within the line

      When was the last time CUSU attempted to organise any kind of "appropriate activity", "representation, support, advocacy, welfare and access" for their 20,000 students?

      I can say this from experience. I went to a protest, supposedly organised by CUSU. You know what happened before, during or after it? Fuck all. They don't have a clue what they're doing or why they do any of it.

      Access stuff? I never received any sort of help or interest from CUSU during my application, from interested school pupil up to and including the day of my matriculation. I come from the North East of Scotland. Access for all? Only if you live as far north as Edinburgh.

      A Jubilee party would relieve some of the exam stress. Get out the bunting, Pimms and cucumber sandwiches people, and say a massive FUCK YOU to CUSU.

      • Oh, come off it

        I'll answer your points one by one.

        When was the last time CUSU attempted to organise any kind of "appropriate activity" [to provide]…

        1. Representation – 7.15pm tonight, hustings in Clare College giving students a chance to ask questions to their local council election candidates.

        2. Support. The full time student advice service provides a full time counsellor to assist students in all sorts of situations everyday, and this service is being well used.

        3. Advocacy. Providing advocacy to students facing problems with their tutors (e.g. in switching tripos), student finance boards, colleges, or others, is a fundamental part of the Education Officer's job, and takes a considerable portion of their time on a daily basis.

        4. Welfare. When was the last time you used a condom? (these are centrally purchased at a discounted rate by CUSU, then distributed through colleges). Not to mention the numerous other support services, CUSU's welfare work includes representing disadvantaged groups, and campaigning to change University policy, over things like, for instance, intermitting (previously "degrading").

        5. Access. I am very sorry that you did not notice any of CUSU's work whilst deciding to apply to University, and I hope this did not adversely affect your application. Perhaps you could bring up any regional problems you spot in Access work with the Access Officer. Their job includes managing the large shadowing scheme, doing countless school visits, producing good PR attempting to dispell myths surrounding the admissions process (e.g. http://www.guardian.co.uk/teacher-network/teacher… and working to remove barriers to state school pupils coming to Cambridge. I'm sure they'd be delighted to listen.

        I believe there may be a mistake in the wording of your last paragraph, as I felt it unlikely to communicate the sentiment of any reasonable person. If I were to learn that one of your major motivations for holding a Jubilee party was to "say a massive FUCK YOU to CUSU" I would advise that you take a brief walk outside to get some air and a sense of perspective.

        • Yes

          'Oh, come off it' just destroyed everything.

        • that was


    • Realist

      'argued that publicly organising a jubilee celebration was not an appropriate activity for a Union of 20,000 students, all of whom have their own different opinions on the monarchy.'

      This seems quite a fair point, but they have no problems organising protests that the vast majority of students disagree with/are ambivalent about. Why is anger so much more motivating than celebration?

      • Admiral Ackbar

        Finally – someone who's identified the real message of this article.

  • Screw CUSU

    Long live the queen. May God bless her and all who sail in her.

  • Funny that

    its the unofficial publication/organisation that is once again speaking for the students. Get your act together CUSU.

    • Huh?

      If he stood in Market Square on a Saturday with a poster behind him saying "speaking for the students" shouting this article through a megaphone you#d think he was a nutcase.

  • voice of reason

    60 years of a hereditary head-of-state… neither meritocratic, nor democratic, and certainly an affront to both of the aforementioned. The ultimate case of privilege.

    Personally I am very glad that we will not be "celebrating" this. I think you will find that a surprisingly large number of people quietly agree with me, see:

    Mr Bell: I would like to ask you whether you had a democratic mandate from your JCR electorate to propose this motion?

    • No.

      Get out.

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Hate to destroy the credibility of your 'reasoning' here, but I believe Mr Bell is an MCR representative. Do please get your facts right.

      Also, listing your source as the website for the Republican advocacy campaign may not have been the most objective of your decisions…

  • uhhhh

    have a look at the motion on the last page of this, though, it's actually pretty stupid: http://www.cusu.cam.ac.uk/union/democracy/council

  • Rafe from Homerton

    Please dont burn the gays :( I think this is a spiffing idea. I would love a party. Maybe we could invite the queen, or at least the band Queen (my favourites) to Cambridge for our party? YAY. so excited! xx

  • http://www.clubpenguin.com/ Queen Lizzy

    Oh yeahhhh boi. Partaaayyyy in Bucky palace, open invite: come at me. WOOOOOO bring out the party hats!

    • ricky pun-ting

      you're looking a bit thin, lizzy.

  • analyst

    Article is too true, it's outrageous that they're not doing something to mark this. Why can't we have just a little pride in our country. Even the leftist imbeciles should find something to celebrate in our glorious and democratic constitutional monarchy and the fact that we live in one of the most free and fair societies civilization has ever seen.

    • Historian

      We may have ended up with a democratic and glorious constitutional monarchy, but that has f*ck all to do with the monarchs themselves, who've spent most of our history trying to PREVENT such a system from developing….

      • Medieval Historian

        Edward III? Henry IV? Even… John? They may not have done it by design, but certainly our medieval monarchs were essential to the shaping of parliamentary institutions.

    • Bill Hicks


  • Hmm

    'Most republicans would agree that celebrating a national event involving our head of state is a good idea'

    I would say you have this bit wrong…

  • disagree

    This makes me so happy, I wanted a jubilee party but didn't think anyone else in left-wing Cam would be up for it. Glad at least someone else thinks it would be a fun idea.

    • wat

      >didn't think anyone else in left-wing Cam would be up for it
      >anyone else in left-wing Cam would be
      >left-wing Cam

      • Wat Tyler

        Am I the only person who didn't understand the comment above?

  • Nailya

    Doesn't it occure to anyone that not having a celebration on something everyone else celebrates IS elitist?

    • fascist argument

      yes of course all dissent is an assertion of intellectual superiority, and ought to be recognised as rank arrogance and elitism.

      I know where you and Charlie would be in Mao's Cultural Revolution, or in Nazi Germany.

      (Elitism is such a tired word. I'm sick of it from the right and from the left.)

      Go back to the Mail.

  • caesarian

    tbh i don't remember any celebrations for the jubilee – specifically because it was the 59th AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING EXAMS.

    I think you're talking about the royal wedding, which happened a day and a year ago.

  • I was there…

    …this is not what happened.

  • Priorities

    I don't give a flying fuck about the queen, WHEN ARE WILL AND KATE COMING? THEY'RE THE THE DUKE AND DUCHESS OF *CAMBRIDGE* FOR FUCK'S SAKE. Sort it out, monarchy.

  • Tom

    this is only regrettable if you think most students want what you're proposing. if most don't then your monarchism is as fanatical as your opponents' supposed marxism

  • Spee

    It's in the middle of exams – I have an exam on the Bank Holiday. Although I will MOST CERTAINLY be celebrating the Jubilee, I don't see why it's anything to do with CUSU. They organise terrible parties and surely people will want to revise.

  • Jamie Patton
  • WhyAreWeWaiting

    It’s a shame that yet again CUSU does not do itself any favours.

    They have a council meeting on 27th April and three days later, there are still no draft minutes published on their website, so we can’t judge for ourselves Charlie Bell’s account here against what was minuted at council.

    “Minutes (will appear shortly after the meeting)”

    Despite this article going up, CUSU aren’t reacting promptly or properly to this story by publishing the draft minutes. And it’s not like they weren’t warned – even TCS (bless them) managed to pick up on this weeks ago – and took CUSU to task on a lack of updates/minutes etc from CUSU council. You would have thought they would make more of an effort?

    So, awful as it may be to some – Charlie Bell’s piece here still remains the only account we all have of what happened at CUSU last week.

  • Bellend

    To clarify: the motion was asking to sing God save the Queen before council, not to have a big party that we could have all gone to. So this whole article basically means that for Charlie Bell singing two pretty rubbish verses before a pretty boring meeting is his idea of a party. MEGA COOL CHARLIE.

  • IMO

    looking for a party? you should've been at klubnacht…

  • Dumb vs dunber

    I don't know who's more stupid CUSU for thinking that celebrating the Jubilee is elitist (I bet they all celebrated the Royal Wedding last year) or you for thinking a) we all care about you being snubbed by CUSU or b) that CUSU has an actual say in what happens in Cambridge

    • typo

      or c) you for not being able to spell "dumber".

  • Charlie Bell..


  • Matt Burke

    The Daily Mail would likely write an article such as this. Mr Bell is clearly a fool

    • samantha brick

      maybe this is his application piece?

  • Billy Shackleton

    I was going to spend a few minutes on writing a comment, then I realised how perverse it would be for more thought to go into a comment than into the article itself.

    Charlie Bell looks like an utter ponce anyway.

  • average joe

    what is cusu?

  • R. Maller

    hi charlie! you're a cock of the highest order and if i could i would destroy you.

    • F Taylor

      i hate what you say but i'll defend to the death your right to say it

      • Faith

        But also I love what you say

  • Reckless Hate…

    To angry to try and even construct an argument to support this article. The reason's given against the motion were complete nonsense. Who do Cambridge students think they are to say we are above supporting the jubilee celebrations, whether it be for convoluted reasons of "austerity" or "access". Something terrible happened just over a year ago in a Cambridge college at a time of a national celebration, which tarnished us in the media… arguments that literally sending a letter would have given the tabloids fodder are completely moot. If anything it would have made us seem more normal, instead of this ridiculous false republican reverse snobbery sentiment. Those who voted against should be ashamed.

    • chilling

      To take a stand against the popular celebration of an arbitrary hierarchy makes you a reverse snob?

      We should blindly join in instead, because 'it would have made us seem more normal'.

      Chilling conformism.

      • hey

        Lighten up

  • http://www.peteandpets.com Peter Collett

    Wonderfully incisive stuff. I would be happier in the knowledge that our future ruling elite knew how to party hard as well as how to work hard! We don't want a lot of killjoys in charge of everything!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/shaman683/2640789668/ SEA COW

    The Primary problem is that for the most part the only people who give enough of a monkeys to work for CUCU are nutters of one description or another with an axe to grind. Congratulations for being completely disconnected with the students. AGAIN.

  • Planes on a snake!


    There are many things about this country that I admire and would wish to celebrate, but the monarchy is not one of them. It is an outdated system based on hereditary privilege – and yes, a form of elitism – which ought to have no place in the modern world. I see no reason why CUSU should congratulate the Queen on her reign.

    As an agnostic, 'God save the Queen' is not something I would want to sing. Even if I did believe in God, I wouldn't see why he would favour the UK over any other country, or wish to 'confound the politics' of other countries.

    I see no way in which that makes me a puritan or a dullard. While I can't speak for how 'misery invoking' or otherwise the CUSU reps are, I think it's unfair of you to paint those who do not see the Jubilee as something to celebrate as party poopers. Speaking of parties, CUSU isn't stopping anyone from having a Jubilee party. If you want to sing the anthem in your own time, they aren't stopping you.

    • http://bapu.org.uk Dr GUYK

      GO to jail.
      GO directly to jail.
      Do not pass go.
      Do not collect £200.

  • Rose

    I'm intrigued by the fact that 'our CUSU President has already attended the palace to celebrate the Jubilee'. Has anyone else noticed the parallels between our CUSU president and HRM? Softly spoken female figurehead. A largely silent but moderate presence – largely detached from the workings of their respective governments…

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Gerard Tully is male. He is not silent. He is not detached from the workings of CUSU. Unless I've missed some form of irony here, the above statement is almost entirely wrong.

  • Star

    If anything, it would be PC *to* celebrate the Jubilee, given the no-criticism status of many of our institutions (thinking specifically of the BBC). But surely it is correct that CUSU shouldn't take a side on what is a debatable, and much debated, issue? There's nothing stopping a student organising their own celebration should they so wish.

    "even most republicans would agree that celebrating a national event involving our head of state is a good idea."
    Which Repulblicans have you met?

    • Star Wars

      We all know what ultimately happens to Republics…

  • Jane

    The first woman to graduate from Cambridge was the current monarch's mother, who was given an honorary degree in 1948, not for having learnt anything or contributed to knowledge in any way. The current monarch's husband was Chancellor at Cambridge for many years. He has no academic achievements , and is recognised as being as thick as two short planks.

    Two of their sons were admitted with extremely low A Level grades, because of the family they came from. The first was admitted to Trinity College. When the second wanted to come, it was the admissions tutors at Jesus who had no shame, and admitted him with open arms. Unsurprisingly he too left with a 2.2.

    Graduands from the "royal colleges" (Trinity, King's, and a third one – John's?) still graduate before everyone else. Cambridge University has a long monarchist history, and it's bloody good to see CUSU say they don't want to join in the monarchist celebrations next month.

    • Tarzan

      Get over it!

  • A. Driver

    It's been a long day. Might troll Charlie Bell-end to cheer myself up a bit

  • Marxists… LOL

    Seems a little ironic to be coming from students at Cambridge. If they are indeed against elitism, do they hope to bite the hand that fed them? To my mind the fact that they sit on a panel that is unrepresentative of the student body, indicates an elitist element itself. Inverted elitism, if you will.

  • Revolution

    What annoys me is that so many hard working, more intelligent, and greatly more worthy individuals look up to these moronic automatons, and despite being asked to work longer and harder, for smaller pensions, and for (in real terms) diminishing salaries, they are still prepared to pay part of their Taxes to find the Royal Family's lavish lifestyle, and wave flags and put up bunting to celebrate 50 years of rule by a deluded old woman who was born into her position by reason of an accident of birth.

    It's utterly pathetic that in the 21st Century we should still be treating people as our superiors, because of where and to whom they were born.

    I do however know it isn't going to change in my lifetime. There are too many vested interests at work. The politicians know that getting the Public to wave flags and have street parties will temporarily at least take the heat away from their mishandling of the economy. The Newspapers and much of the rest of the Media have an interest in maintaining the status quo. Once you get rid of the Queen, the focus will turn to inherited wealth and the influence of a few, hugely wealthy, unelected, individuals who control how we view the News and – to an extent – what we think.

    So, by all means go ahead and celebrate the Queen's 50 years on the throne, you morons. Celebrate the fact that the royal family continue to enjoy enormous, unearned riches and privileges, while you struggle to pay the bills to keep your families fed and watered. Enjoy being ****ed by the rich and the powerful. You deserve everything that comes your way.

Heard something newsworthy?

A beginner’s guide to boatie ‘pain-faces’

The Tab takes you on a journey through the world of rowing pain-faces, and makes dozens of boatie enemies in the process.

Is Cambridge getting a second rugby international?

Jamie Roberts tweeted a suggestion that Australian star David Pocock play for Cambridge.

, Cambridge Editor

Clare May Ball Committee forced into “full ticket recall” after college revolts at ticket blunders

Clare: Not so demure and friendly after all.

We asked an expert and the quarter-life crisis is a real thing

It’s a natural to feel lost in adulthood

, Editor, The Tab King's

Everything you know if you’re a girl who loves football

‘It’s pretty insulting to be told you’re obviously only doing it to impress a man’

, Chief Reporter

J.K. Rowling has set the record straight on the new Harry Potter ‘book’

It’s NOT a novel. It’s a script