We Demand the Right to Party


Cärlchen Jupp attacks CUSU's decision not to celebrate the Queen's Diamond Jubilee.

Sometimes, you forget just how completely out of touch student politicos are.

Then, suddenly, it slaps you in the face like a big wet fish; a fair-trade, politically correct fish, mind.

Last night, I had the audacity of taking a motion to what is laughingly called the Council of our student union, to suggest that we had some celebrations for the Jubilee year. It’s a diamond, remember – something that comes round after sixty years of a reign – and even given the advances of modern science, it’s unlikely that the organic-obsessed Prince Charles will rack up that long. So, it’s quite special, and it’s quite unusual, and pretty much everywhere else in the country is doing something.

Despite this, our beloved representatives (most of whom seem to represent Marx, rather than normal people) have decided on your behalf: the students of this university are making it a celebration-free zone. Don’t get me wrong, some of the council attendees are fine; the ones elected as JCR Presidents and so on seem pretty chilled, and get bored by the usual crap that is proposed by the local idiots. It’s the rest who come and wreak their havoc of weirdness on the rest of us that are the problem.

The Queen is due to celebrate her Diamond Jubilee on 5th June

Last night, I was told, quite forcefully by these prats, that celebrating the jubilee is elitist and against access and accessibility; and more ridiculously, their major argument seemed to be that the Daily Mail wouldn’t like us if we did it. Christ, that’s definitely something to base our decisions on, isn’t it? Whilst we’re at it, we should burn the gays and take away universal suffrage; oh no, hang on, that would be completely idiotic. Like many of our ‘representatives’…

Leaving aside the fact that our CUSU President has already attended the palace to celebrate the Jubilee, let’s just consider their ludicrous suggestions for a moment. Given that most of the country is celebrating the Jubilee, across all different kind of boundaries, their ideals to avoid elitism seem a bit stupid if they’re based on opposing what everyone else is doing.

The monarchy, whether you agree with it or not, seems to be pretty popular, and even most republicans would agree that celebrating a national event involving our head of state is a good idea. But not the puritan bores that think the best way to spend a Friday evening is to compete in the ‘dullard of the year’ competition at CUSU.

No – it would offend international students, of course; although I can’t imagine being offended if I were abroad and they celebrated a national event. No – it’s against access, because our intake all come from republican homes, obviously. No – it’s inaccessible; I don’t even know what that means in this context!

The fact is, they’re just a bunch of misery invoking, self-righteous, vanguard-of-the-proletariat, politically-correct obsessives who think they are saving the world.

My advice? Get a life, and get real. If you don’t want a party, then piss off. The rest of us do.

CORRECTED 5.56 PM, April 30th: The parenthesis in paragraph 6 ‘(and yet voted against the idea last night)’ was incorrect. It has been removed.

  • Reckless Hate…

    To angry to try and even construct an argument to support this article. The reason's given against the motion were complete nonsense. Who do Cambridge students think they are to say we are above supporting the jubilee celebrations, whether it be for convoluted reasons of "austerity" or "access". Something terrible happened just over a year ago in a Cambridge college at a time of a national celebration, which tarnished us in the media… arguments that literally sending a letter would have given the tabloids fodder are completely moot. If anything it would have made us seem more normal, instead of this ridiculous false republican reverse snobbery sentiment. Those who voted against should be ashamed.

    • chilling

      To take a stand against the popular celebration of an arbitrary hierarchy makes you a reverse snob?

      We should blindly join in instead, because 'it would have made us seem more normal'.

      Chilling conformism.

      • hey

        Lighten up

  • http://www.peteandpets.com Peter Collett

    Wonderfully incisive stuff. I would be happier in the knowledge that our future ruling elite knew how to party hard as well as how to work hard! We don't want a lot of killjoys in charge of everything!

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/shaman683/2640789668/ SEA COW

    The Primary problem is that for the most part the only people who give enough of a monkeys to work for CUCU are nutters of one description or another with an axe to grind. Congratulations for being completely disconnected with the students. AGAIN.

  • Planes on a snake!

    Charlie,

    There are many things about this country that I admire and would wish to celebrate, but the monarchy is not one of them. It is an outdated system based on hereditary privilege – and yes, a form of elitism – which ought to have no place in the modern world. I see no reason why CUSU should congratulate the Queen on her reign.

    As an agnostic, 'God save the Queen' is not something I would want to sing. Even if I did believe in God, I wouldn't see why he would favour the UK over any other country, or wish to 'confound the politics' of other countries.

    I see no way in which that makes me a puritan or a dullard. While I can't speak for how 'misery invoking' or otherwise the CUSU reps are, I think it's unfair of you to paint those who do not see the Jubilee as something to celebrate as party poopers. Speaking of parties, CUSU isn't stopping anyone from having a Jubilee party. If you want to sing the anthem in your own time, they aren't stopping you.

    • http://bapu.org.uk Dr GUYK

      GO to jail.
      GO directly to jail.
      Do not pass go.
      Do not collect £200.

  • Rose

    I'm intrigued by the fact that 'our CUSU President has already attended the palace to celebrate the Jubilee'. Has anyone else noticed the parallels between our CUSU president and HRM? Softly spoken female figurehead. A largely silent but moderate presence – largely detached from the workings of their respective governments…

    • Admiral Ackbar

      Gerard Tully is male. He is not silent. He is not detached from the workings of CUSU. Unless I've missed some form of irony here, the above statement is almost entirely wrong.

  • Star

    If anything, it would be PC *to* celebrate the Jubilee, given the no-criticism status of many of our institutions (thinking specifically of the BBC). But surely it is correct that CUSU shouldn't take a side on what is a debatable, and much debated, issue? There's nothing stopping a student organising their own celebration should they so wish.

    "even most republicans would agree that celebrating a national event involving our head of state is a good idea."
    Which Repulblicans have you met?

    • Star Wars

      We all know what ultimately happens to Republics…

  • Jane

    The first woman to graduate from Cambridge was the current monarch's mother, who was given an honorary degree in 1948, not for having learnt anything or contributed to knowledge in any way. The current monarch's husband was Chancellor at Cambridge for many years. He has no academic achievements , and is recognised as being as thick as two short planks.

    Two of their sons were admitted with extremely low A Level grades, because of the family they came from. The first was admitted to Trinity College. When the second wanted to come, it was the admissions tutors at Jesus who had no shame, and admitted him with open arms. Unsurprisingly he too left with a 2.2.

    Graduands from the "royal colleges" (Trinity, King's, and a third one – John's?) still graduate before everyone else. Cambridge University has a long monarchist history, and it's bloody good to see CUSU say they don't want to join in the monarchist celebrations next month.

    • Tarzan

      Get over it!

  • A. Driver

    It's been a long day. Might troll Charlie Bell-end to cheer myself up a bit

  • Marxists… LOL

    Seems a little ironic to be coming from students at Cambridge. If they are indeed against elitism, do they hope to bite the hand that fed them? To my mind the fact that they sit on a panel that is unrepresentative of the student body, indicates an elitist element itself. Inverted elitism, if you will.

  • Revolution

    What annoys me is that so many hard working, more intelligent, and greatly more worthy individuals look up to these moronic automatons, and despite being asked to work longer and harder, for smaller pensions, and for (in real terms) diminishing salaries, they are still prepared to pay part of their Taxes to find the Royal Family's lavish lifestyle, and wave flags and put up bunting to celebrate 50 years of rule by a deluded old woman who was born into her position by reason of an accident of birth.

    It's utterly pathetic that in the 21st Century we should still be treating people as our superiors, because of where and to whom they were born.

    I do however know it isn't going to change in my lifetime. There are too many vested interests at work. The politicians know that getting the Public to wave flags and have street parties will temporarily at least take the heat away from their mishandling of the economy. The Newspapers and much of the rest of the Media have an interest in maintaining the status quo. Once you get rid of the Queen, the focus will turn to inherited wealth and the influence of a few, hugely wealthy, unelected, individuals who control how we view the News and – to an extent – what we think.

    So, by all means go ahead and celebrate the Queen's 50 years on the throne, you morons. Celebrate the fact that the royal family continue to enjoy enormous, unearned riches and privileges, while you struggle to pay the bills to keep your families fed and watered. Enjoy being ****ed by the rich and the powerful. You deserve everything that comes your way.

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