Sussex’s Most Eligible Bachelor Nominee: Marcus
‘Preferably looking for a lady with daddy issues’
Lynn FeithHello to the lovely ladies out there, my name is Marcus but I also go by Protein Crunch or the Olive Casanova. I am initially from a small rural village named Lyminge, but I got bored, so I came to Sussex and became the Mayor of East Slope. I am a first year Economics and International Development student, so in a couple of years I will probably be saving the world.
They told me to write a short paragraph, but let's be honest here, there's nothing short about me.
I love all sports, but prefer whichever one has the best girl:boy ratio, always keen for a mixed training session.
I'm open for all the ladies, not looking for a specific style or hair colour, I'll basically take anything as long as it doesn't scream third wave feminism. But it'd be nice if she's got a boyfriend to spice things up a little. Of course, daddy issues are very welcome as well.
If you wanna hang out, you'll always find me on the seafront at the Arch, because seeing the jaws hang like wizards sleeve is very amusing. While you'll be sipping on your black cherry VK, I'll be downing some whey protein and vanilla alpro soya milk, better than any alcoholic bev.
I'm strong like a rhino on Mandy, I even once deadlifted my nan from the dining table, so if you're looking for a hercules to lift you up physically and out you down emotionally, I'm the right one for you.
Favourite thing about yourself: Probably my eyes. Whenever I see them in the mirror I just get…so lost
Pet peeve: What the fuck is a pet peeve? But if it's about pets, I really disagree with the whole idea – animals are food not friends
Pineapple on pizza: Pineapple? Let me check the macros
Ideal date: Minecon
What's the most attractive quality a girl can possess: 3+ k/d ratio and daddy issues
Favourite sex position: Me on top, hands round her ankles yanking them up by her head. Ain't all about you petal
Sussex Uni introduces compulsory office wear in library to prepare students for employment
Francesca EkeA leaked email explained students would be denied entry to the library if they didn’t dress to code
Footage emerges of armed police arresting Sussex student in halls after ‘threats to kill’
Police raided East Slope halls with dogs after a 19-year-old student made ‘malicious communications’
Student forced to drop out after their university was unable to fund a sign language interpreter
Emily SmithThe Brighton student said: ‘It’s devastating. I’m trying to remain strong and positive and just try to fight it as best I can’
Applications to join The Sussex Tab’s editorial team are now open
Eleanor GermanyApplications close on Sunday 16th April
Sussex University students to be given £50 fines if caught drinking on Brighton beach
Some students have already called the ban ‘ridiculous’
Here are the acts performing at Brighton Pride this year
The Grammy award-winning Black Eyed Peas will be headlining
Sussex Student Union to hold All Members’ Meeting
Here’s everything you need to know about the event
Here’s how you can support those affected by the Turkey and Syria earthquakes as a Sussex student
‘It’s upsetting to see the news whilst being so far from home’
The UCU has released all 18 strike dates for Sussex University
The 18 days of strike action will take place between February 1st and March 22nd
University of Sussex staff set to strike for 18 days this term
Over 70,000 staff at 150 universities will be striking
Your guide to Brighton’s best date spots this cuffing season
Molly MacfarlaneEverything you need to impress your future significant other
Meet the Sussex rugby team tackling Movember
‘It is okay not to be okay, talking to others about your struggles is not a weakness’
How to spot the signs and tackle seasonal depression as a Sussex student
Chloe RedmanWith the shorter days approaching and summer officially over, it’s very common to experience seasonal depression
The student musicians taking over the Brighton music scene
Kate LuOn the hunt for new music? Look no further
‘One of our parties ended with someone peeing in my wardrobe’: Sussex students worst halls horror stories
Mercedes DangFrom secret crushes to peeing in wardrobes, we’ve seen it all
University of Sussex lecturers will be striking for three days this month
Strikes will be held on the 24th, 25th and 30th November
We asked Sussex’s international students about their biggest culture shocks
Beans on toast advocate til I die x
Alina Zubair
Lucinda from Love Island’s getting dragged for going to ‘100’ Downing Street ‘to see Boris’
Harrison Brocklehurst‘Bet you were disappointed when Rishi answered’
‘Simply not true’: Real Martha DENIES sending 41,000 emails in Piers Morgan interview
‘I didn’t write all the emails. I think he probably made them up himself’
‘It was jokey banter’: The bombshell claims Fiona Harvey made in Piers Morgan interview
Hayley SoenIt was a lot to take in
The best episodes of Hacks ever, according to IMDb
I will follow Deborah and Ava to the ends of the earth
These vibey Outer Banks behind the scenes pics will make you want to join The Pogues
Keeping us FED until season four
Nava Mau’s opened up on how she prepared for Baby Reindeer scene where Teri’s attacked
‘We built up a structure that I was gonna get knocked over, so when I’m on the floor I can look at the pieces’
Martha’s arrest and all the other differences in Baby Reindeer from the original play
Netflix also cut out all of the bizarre gifts Martha gave Donny
Romances and trips together: What the Emily in Paris cast have been up to ahead of season four
Desperate to be invited on their group holidays
Ellie Ring
From Rose Tyler to Ruby Sunday: The definitive ranking of every Doctor Who companion
Criminal that Jackie Tyler has never been on a Tardis trip tbh
Gypsy Rose Blanchard thinks Taylor Swift’s new song Fresh Out The Slammer is about her
She apparently sees a lot of similarities between the song and her life
Richard Gadd says the Baby Reindeer crew was reduced to tears filming harrowing scenes
‘The team felt it with me in a lot of ways’
It’s official: These are the most dangerous Russell Group student areas you can live in
Not a great day to be a Cardiff student
The Tab is hiring a new Staff Writer at its HQ – here’s how to apply
The TabApplications close Sunday 26th May
The competition is really heating up, so when does Race Across The World series four end?
Phoebe KowhaiI would be happy only watching this show for the rest of time
Tori and Jack reveal shocking reason why they still haven’t said ‘I love you’ after MAFS
The two have been together for over six months
Book deals and becoming millionaires: The major career moves from the MAFS Australia cast
They really are cashing in on their fame
‘I feel a bit used’: What to expect from real-life Martha’s interview with Piers Morgan
She said she chose Piers Morgan’s show ‘because he’s the best of them all’
The shockingly low amount ‘real life Martha’ will be paid for her Baby Reindeer interview
It’s less than you’d expect