Seven unwritten rules of the Robbo

All of the things you want to say but have no actual grounding to kick off about


The library can be a saviour for many of us; the only place we can properly concentrate and actually get work done. For me, seeing the work ethic and everyone studying hard puts me in a super productive mood, but at the same time I sometimes wish there were nobody else in there except for me.

Nothing irks you more than when you get up early and bring your lunch and chargers with you, ready to spend a super productive day at the Robbo and someone next to you starts ticking off activities from your pet peeves list one by one. It’s infuriating in fact, because you can’t say anything, right? You don’t want to move, you just finished your whole set up, got a comfy chair away from the air con. A nightmare.

Stop drinking straight out of the fountain

I don’t know why, but drinking directly from the water fountains is plain wrong. Maybe it’s because they don’t seem to have the little spout that shoots water up and so instead you just look like a cat drinking from a kitchen tap. Do what you want, but it just feels weird to me.

Please, for the love of god – stop taking your shoes off

Why on earth is this a thing? Look, I get it. It’s not comfortable to sit in tightly laced trainers all day. But cracking your puppies out in the library? You must be brave. This is exactly why I invested in Crocs, the epitome of style and comfort.

Do not warm up your tuna pasta bake in the microwave

I am on edge every day that one of you is going to push the cafe staff too far with your pungent lunch choices and they’re going to revoke our microwave privileges. I wasn’t allowed a microwave at Sixth Form and I’m sure as shit not going to let you guys ruin it for me now. Those ladies are one pasta bake microwave bomb away from walking out. Be wiser.

Don’t eat crisps in silent study

I can’t believe I even have to reiterate this. If you choose to sit in the silent study and can open up a bag of picked onion Monster Munch without feeling any shame, you are a certified psychopath. Take your smelly snacks to the quiet or collaborative study, where you can rustle and crunch to your heart’s content.

Stop keyboard hammering

Some keyboards are just loud and there’s no getting around it. But some of you are taking the piss now with how hard you hammer on those keys – it’s very distracting. Treat your keyboard like you would treat a lady – tenderly.

Leaving your phone on vibrate

This drives me CRAZY. There is no amount of noise cancelling that can distract me from the constant vibrations through the desk. Do not disturb that thing or go home.

Never tell someone to shut up

Regardless of how loud they’re being, how many hours you’ve been suffering and how badly you want to – it’s just not socially acceptable to tell another person to shut up. Instead, perhaps opt for a stern glare in true British culture style.

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