This is what your choice of Newcastle gym says about you

If you go to David Lloyd, tell your pensioner friends we say hi


Since pubs and bars now close at 10 (thanks Boris, thanks a lot), and with no in-person lectures to get in the way, there is literally no excuse to skip the gym. Whether you eat, sleep and breathe protein, or whether you’re more of a social gym go-er, your choice of Newcastle gym says more about your personality than you may think.

PureGym/The Gym 

Let’s be honest, they’re the same in all aspects but name, and they definitely attract the same crowd. If you live in Jesmond, no matter how many times you tell yourself you’ll go, it’s unlikely you’re willing to trek into town on a dark and rainy Newcastle day because you’re lazy and Jesmond Tesco is quite far enough. Girls, your wardrobe is probably overflowing with matching Gymshark sets, just as these gyms are overflowing with students trying to get in shape in the hope to impress their Robbo crush the next day.

Credit @eviewainwrightx via Instagram

Pinetree

The fitness hub of Jesmond. Be careful who you’re chatting to whilst downing £2 double vodkas at Blanc on a Tuesday, because you’re bound to find them loading up the squat rack the next day. Pinetree probably fills the lecture shaped hole in your life, because to you, it’s just as much a social occasion as it is a way to get fit.

Although its swanky new decor will have you feeling like a gym legend, don’t fool yourself into thinking the feeling will last. The gym session you just smashed is quickly forgotten as the smell of brunch at Cafe Bar One next door wafts down the road, and your true social butterfly comes out. Who needs big biceps anyway when you can have a honeycomb latte and a full English?

Newcastle Uni Sports Centre

You are probably a fresher and were offered a gym membership when you confirmed your accommodation choice. As a hopeful and naïve fresher, why wouldn’t you sign up to the gym to burn off those inevitable trebs and ready meals? Little did you know that 90% of the time, you’d be too hungover to even consider leaving your bed, let alone stepping foot on a treadmill.

And if that wasn’t enough to put you off, the grunting of the rugby boys that dominate the weights area definitely will. It’s simply too scary to go to the gym when it sounds like a farmyard when you take your headphones out.

Credit @nclsport via Instagram

Northumbria Uni Sport Central

If you study Sports Science at Northumbria, you’ll fit right in. Located in the heart of the Northumbria Uni campus, if you’re a Newcastle student, the extra cheap deal they offered this year is definitely the only reason you’re brave enough to cross over into rival territory. If you’re braving the weights section, you’re probably dressed head to toe in your sports team gear and will rarely be sighted in the gym on a Thursday after a heavy social on a Wednesday night.

Credit @kbofficial_fitness via Instagram

David Lloyd 

The crème de la crème, although at a steep £64 a month, you must have more money than sense to have a membership here. After a quick trip to Waitrose for a pre-gym snack (you wouldn’t be seen dead in Tesco), you can head to the gym without a care in the world about what you look like. You’re definitely the only student there and bring the average age down by about 20 years.

You know you’re being ripped off but you could never give up your sauna sessions with your new pensioner friends; Linda and Roy would simply miss you too much.

Credit @0liviasmithh via Instagram

O’Toole’s 

It says it all if you’ve even heard of this place, to be honest. Located in the heart of Byker, it’s not for the faint-hearted. If you’re a regular here, you’ll have the sound of a protein shaker ringing in your ears and your most used app is MyFitnessPal. For you, the gym is no laughing matter, it’s a matter of life or death.

So whether you use the gym as an excuse to meet your friends, a chance to get a peek of your crush or if you really just want to work off that lockdown weight (we can all relate), there truly is a gym for everyone in Newcastle.

Want to write stories like this? Join the team, no experience required. DM us via @TheTabNewcastle on Instagram or The Tab Newcastle on Facebook.

Similar stories recommended by this writer:

Pinetree has had a complete refurb!

Six things all students living in Jesmond spend too much money on

You can only say you’ve lived in Jesmond if you’ve done these eight things