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Why I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the Royal engagement

The least they could do is give us a bloody bank holiday

MEGHAN'S GOING TO BE WEARING CROCS FOR THE BIG DAY… now I have your attention, there are refugees in Libya are being sold into slavery for £400 to farmers for labour and sex traffickers for prostitution.

In the words of the great Hermione Granger, this county needs to sort out it's priorities.

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On Monday, the nation learned of the engagement of Prince Harry and (the gorgeous, tbf) Meghan Markle. My Twitter page was full of congratulations Tweets from celebrities and random girls in the year bellow me at school alike. Everyone was either thrilled or jealous that they hadn't got there first.

I agree that Meghan herself is a definite beacon of hope, her mixed racial background and open hatred of Trump are definitely two things that make her the sort of influential figure this country could certainly do with, and seeing her amongst the Royal Family will be a symbol of things moving in a better direction.

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But Meghan aside, the wedding itself is a real load of garbage. I mean, couldn't they have just had a private ceremony in a secret location if they're so in love? I know some people really truly care (for reasons i'll never understand) about two rich people they've never met getting hitched, but you'll have to excuse my lack of excitement for two main reasons. It's a real ache in the tits for both the taxpayer and for those extremely important news stories that have been cast in the shadows due to the huge amount of media coverage it's gobbled up.

The Royal Family have released a statement saying that they insisted on paying for the wedding. How terribly kind!

Alongside the £369 million of the taxpayers money which is going to renovations to Buckingham Palace in the coming years (The Independent claim that taxes being given to the Royal Family is expected to increase 66% over the decade), the wedding, set for Spring 2018, is expected to cost tens of millions on security alone. Something tells me Meghan's family couldn't have carried out the tradition of the Bride's family paying for the wedding, even if they wanted to.

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Wills and Kate on their £34 million wedding day

It seems a bit bloody excessive considering a few extra grand couldn't be spared for fireproof revetment on Grenfell Tower (and survivors of the fire and families of the victims received only ten pounds a day to live on following the tragedy). But hey, as long as one of the richest families in the world are all looking sharp in designer garms for the big day, what does it matter!

We can afford to host a multi-million pound party, but heaven forbid we allow too many of those desperately seeking refuge inside our borders.

Secondly, this is a story I came across on Twitter about a girl and her kick-ass dad who were scheduled to appear on This Morning:

I find it hard to understand why an engagement warrants hours of TV coverage, an ENTIRE episode of This Morning, in the place of stories of every-day people that have worked hard to achieve something or, like those stranded in Bali due to a looming volcanic eruption, just deserve a moment of our time. Why do we prioritise these out-of-date figures of authority over our own people? Do they have us brainwashed enough that we care more about them than each other?

So, when the "big day" rolls around, you wont see me drinking Prosecco and gawking at the Queen's wedding outfit. I'll most probably be eating cereal in bed and complaining about something. Maybe just a small glass of Prosecco actually…