BATTLE OF THE UNIS: Your Guide to Leicester Uni Chants

While DMU are singing “shove your pony up your arse”, pick one of these demoralising chants and sing your heart out…

1. “D M Who!?”

The old classic. While everyone’s heard of Leicester, what better way to belittle the opponent than to ask… who even are you?

(And let’s face it, we’ve all been pronouncing De Montfort as if it ends with a ‘D’ for the last few years anyway)

2. “We pay your benefits…we pay your benefits”

Because it is vital to assert our superiority by mocking the social system.

For a similar variation, also try “we pay your bursaries” to the same tune.

3. “Oh I’d rather be a c*nt than unemployed”

To the tune of ‘She’ll be coming round the mountain when she comes‘, when DMU sing “I’d rather be a poly than a c*nt”, we respond with…

Because while DMU students are on the doll, we will obviously be throwing money off a yacht like our old pal Leo. Cheers.

4. “2 Es and an NVQ that’s why you go to DMU”

Pretty self explanatory.

While this is the expected requirement at DMU, over at the University of Leicester there is typically a 320 UCAS point entry requirement due to its Top 20 rank. And we found Richard III. No biggy.

5. “The wheels on your house go round and round”

Chant this to ridicule the inevitable difficulty for DMU students to ever afford a mortgage!

…we see you rollin’.

6. “Que sera sera, what ever will be will be, you’re getting a shit degree, Que sera sera”

One day while we will most likely be basking in our millions, DMU students may have slightly less fortunate outcomes, because you never know what the future has in store…

7. “Your Dad works for my Dad”

At this stage of the night, you will have successfully mocked the DMU students’ lack of future prospects, financial inadequacy, housing struggle and narrow intellect; what better way to round it off than with a good old dose of personal insult.

8. “What’s that coming over the hill? It’s unemployment, it’s unemployment”

Reiterating the pompous arrogance of all the previous chants, I suppose that some of us were just born to overtake…

Let the battle commence!