How To: be the Most Annoying Person in the Library

It’s almost the end of the Leicester’s exam period, and the number of those finally tasting freedom is growing by the day. But why should those left have to study in peace? With these top tips, we can all work together to make the Library experience as ‘fun’ as possible for those still needing to be ‘unplugged’ from the revision matrix. You’re welcome.

Got a cold?

Don’t bother bringing any tissues with you to the library today, sniffing is the new silence. The trick is to start regularly then mix it up to keep your audience guessing about when that next sniff is going to come.

Walk into the library, find a seat, put your belongings all over the desk and leave. Go get a coffee, meet some friends, go home for the weekend! Who cares, you’ve got that seat reserved and because you were there first, it’s yours. FACT.

Spread the Love: make sure no part of the Library desks feel neglected

Find a medicine student and engage them in a passionate debate about which course is more worthwhile; criminology or their own.

The best library snack is of course the egg sandwich. This is only second to the tuna sandwich and to be eaten at your desk complete with pleasurable moans

Stand by the toilets with a stopwatch and shout at everyone who enters ‘your time starts.. NOW!’

Isn’t it annoying how those windows move in the library? Sigh heavily each time they do and roll your eyes at the person next to you.

All those poor people using the lifts just need someone in their life to help them see the light and turn to the stairs. Be that person.

It could be YOU who saves one lucky person from not using their legs

Be inspirational

Why is everyone sitting in silence? Try some ice breakers: introduce yourself, make name badges and get some team bonding exercises going. Everyone loves a go getter.

Has everyone heard about that time at Republic when you lost all your friends and had to pay for the taxi all on your OWN? I don’t think so!

Playing music out loud in the library is pretty inconsiderate, so get those headphones on and sing your own rendition for the masses. You’ve got those Bieber tunes down.

Gather some friends and order 30 paninis at the café before proceeding to hide the things that buzz when they’re ready all round the library. They’ll keep those revising awake.

Food Notifiers…. or dangerous weapons of extreme annoyance?

Hide in the bookshelves and when someone comes and winds it open jump out shouting ‘I’m FREEEEEEE!’

See that last Computer everyone’s been queuing for? They’re only standing around it to watch it for you. Grab that seat and use the monitor wisely checking facebook, twitter, your emails, before maybe just packing it in and having a nap. Those around you will be pleased to see you taking things easy.

Remember: the quiet patrol are people too and should not feel left out. Follow one around for the day whilst playing the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack to make their job all the more epic.

Snapchat the hell out of your desk, your books, your face, the guy next to you. Burst out laughing every time you get a reply. Other library goers will just love seeing someone with such an exciting social life. Even when your friends beg you stop, you know they really mean ‘more please’

Everyone loves someone who wants to share their enthusiasm with the world