How to ditch your unwanted freshers friends

Freshers’ Week. Most of us will embrace the party life, some won’t remember all of it and others will remember every last embarrassing moment.

It is a time you meet people who you’ll never talk to, or even see again. You max out your phone with contacts you have no desire to meet up with in the future.

But there is always one person that you meet during Freshers’ Week that just won’t get the hint. The freshers friend.

Best friends after two days

Go somewhere else

If you know they’re heading to the SU for a night out, suggest going in to town to your flatmates. You’d reduce the chances of seeing them, because they would never go to a dismal night at Walkabout or Soda.

Just a quiet one with the flatmates 😉

Safety in numbers

Going out with larger groups of people makes it is more difficult for your fresher friend to cling to you. If you see them approaching, start talking to a different member of the group, walk away, or look in a different direction. They’ll eventually get the hint and find a new ship to cling to like the last barnacle on the hull of the Black Pearl.

9 humans, one monkey

Backup/Plan B

It is vital to always have a different group of friends which your fresher friend is not included in. Go out with a group of people from your course or people from a new society you’ve joined without the guilt of not inviting them or ignoring them on a night out. I’m sure you’d rather go to pub golf with the Ultimate Frisbee society than enduring a night with someone you hate. Even if you’re not part of a society. Just tag along. Oh wait, now they’re trying to get rid of you.

The Literature Society know how to party!!!!!!!!

Netflix and chill

Some people are just too much to bear. When that happens, you don’t always have to go out. Have a cosy night in with snacks, Netflix and a blanket. Disney is always better than a drippy friend.

Fingers

Be brutal

We don’t like to do it, but there comes a point where you just have to tell them straight. Let them know that you don’t find them entertaining and have no interest in being their friend. Yes, it’s heartless, and yes it’s bitchy, but it gets the job done.

Don’t punch them in the face though

If all else fails?

Just keep calm and have another drink. You never know, you might like them more when you’re under the influence. If not, alcohol poisoning will give you a good excuse to not see or talk to them for a few days.